Chapter 5 Helping Children Cooperate Cooperation is Working

Chapter 5 Helping Children Cooperate

Cooperation is Working Together! �Learning Cooperation for life �Parent’s Teaching Job �Parent’s Model �A happy home environment

Problem Ownership § Parent or Child? § Ownership first step § Sets the strategy § Independent Children § Parent Ownership/Action

From Problem to Solution

Determine Who Owns the Problem 4 Questions RHPA determine ownership: 1. Rights? 2. Harm? 3. Property? 4. Age Responsibility?

Determine Who Owns the Problem 4 What are the four questions? : 1. Rights? 2. Harm? 3. Property? 4. Age Responsibility?

Who owns the problem? Bill and Joey did not ask John to play ball. John’s is upset. John is being rude to his mother and calling her names. John lost the leaves for his class project. John is kicked off the bus for fighting.

Group Activity �Who owns the problem?

Solving Problems Together Choices �Ignore it �Reflective listening �I-message �Choices and Consequences �Exploring Alternatives

Solving Problems Together What are the Choices? �Ignore it �Reflective listening �I-message �Choices and Consequences �Exploring Alternatives

Steps to Exploring Alternatives �Understand it �Brainstorm �Discuss �Choose pg 90 �Implement

What are the steps? �Understand it �Brainstorm �Discuss �Choose pg 90 �Implement

Using Open Questions �Get them talking – not Dragnet! �Solving the wrong problem �Problem identification � 5 WH

Deadlock – Now What? �Find common ground �Respectful �the real problem �Agree not to fight �Time-out �Resume discussion later

Deadlock – Now What? �Find common ground �Respectful �the real problem �Agree not to fight �Time-out �Resume discussion later

Family Meetings �Why have a family meeting?

Finding the Time �Review schedules �Meet Consistently �Schedule appropriate amount of time

Ground Rules �All need to participate �Limit complaining �No interruptions (phone calls, texting etc. ) �TV off �Keep to the time limit & topics

Structured or Non-Structured? �You Decide

Agenda /Topics �Family Rules �Chores �Homework �Week/Weekend Plans �Recognition

Real Issues

Agenda/Topics �Plan Family Activity �Topics suggested by children �Fire Escape Plan �Current Events �Moral Dilemma

Discuss & Plan

Build a Bridge to Cooperation

Problem Situation Hand Out �Tony and Ruby have three children. Alex is 10, Tonia is 9, and Paula is 6. The parents want to begin having family meetings. They decide to start by planning something fun to do together. �The family talks about what to do. Alex and Paula want to go to a movie. Tonia wants to go to a carnival. Mom likes the movie idea. Dad thinks the carnival would be fun, but he is willing to do what the rest of the family decides. Tonia refuses to go to a movie.

Problem Solving �What are the problems here? �What guidelines for family meetings could help? �How might this family cooperate to solve these problems?