Chapter 2 Mastering Crucial Conversations Octo ber 16

Chapter 2: Mastering Crucial Conversations Octo ber 16, Cath 201 y Bo 9 j o rque Dam z& ien Peñ a

Identify someone who you think is your most “effective” colleague “Use your inside voice”

Fool’s Choice • Those who master crucial conversations avoid the Fool's Choice, where we think we must choose between telling the truth and keeping a friend, or between candor and kindness. • Dropping some wisdom: Don’t resort to silence or force your arguments on others

Activity • The president has strongly proposed to Admin Council that because of the recent national disasters, our mascot should changed from PIRATES to the PHOENIX because we rise from the ashes. • p. s. Most importantly, the new colors will be red and purple.

What are my options? • Option 1: Speak up and turn the most powerful person in the room into their sworn enemy • Option 2: Suffer in silence and make a bad decision that might ruin the college • Option 3: Go along with the discussion with hints, sarcasm, caustic humor, innuendo and looks of disgust, only to speak poorly about it after the decsion has been made. • Option 4: Find a way to be 100% honest and at the same time, be 100% respectful

Free Flow of Meaning Dialogue • When it comes to risky, controversial, and emotional conversations, skilled people find a way to get all relevant information out into the open. • Dropping some wisdom: Make it a safe place for people to contribute

Own your perspective • Our opinions, feelings, theories, and experiences of a topic fill our personal pool of meaning. People who are skilled at dialogue do their best to make it safe for everyone to add their meaning to the shared pool.

The pool of shared meaning is also the birthplace of synergy • As the pool of shared meaning grows, it exposes individuals to more accurate and relevant information, and so they make better choices. It is a measure of the group's intelligence. • From a free flow of meaning, we can create a whole that is truly greater than the sum of its original parts.

Shared Pool of Meaning • Because the meaning is shared, and everyone takes part in the free flow of meaning, people act on whatever decisions they make with both unity and conviction. • Dropping some wisdom: The time you spend up front establishing a shared pool of meaning is more than paid for by faster, more unified, and more committed action later on.

Think about it… Whenever we find ourselves arguing, debating, running away, or otherwise acting in an ineffective way, it's because we don't know how to share meaning.