Chapter 1 All people are different Different people

Chapter 1: All people are different.

Different people are good at different things. This one is good at figuring out how things work. This one works hard at school. This one is good at taking care of pets. This one is good at pretending.

Different people find different things to be hard. This person has a hard time letting other people talk sometimes. This one has a hard time cutting down on “screen time. ” This one has a hard time with loud noises. This one has a hard time dealing with anger.

That’s the way it is for everyone. Each person finds some things easier, and other things harder.

Let’s learn about you what you enjoy and what you are good at. And what is hard for you. This can help you to get even better at the things you are good at. This can help you to deal the things that are hard.

You can learn all about what you are good at, what you like, and what things you find hard. When you learn these things about yourself, you can get even better at the things you like and enjoy. And you can get better at dealing with the things that you find difficult.

Chapter 2: What are your strengths?

Maybe you are good at creating things – Making things to… …look at… …view on a screen… h th …touch and hold… …and hear… What things do you know how to make?

Maybe you are good at putting facts and ideas in your mind about… …the world… …pretend worlds… …how things work… …and special ideas that are all your own… What kinds of good facts do you put in your own mind?

Maybe you are good at getting important things done …at school… …at home… …to make money… …and get ready for grown-up work… What kinds of good things do you get done?

Maybe you are good at making your body move and perform well …like running… …and swimming… h …and dancing… th …and martial arts… What are some good ways you move your body?

Maybe you are good at caring for those you love …like family… h …and friends… …and people in need… th …and pets… What are some good ways you care for those you love?

Maybe you are good at enjoying things that other people have done …on screens… h …in sports… …in music… th …in books… What are the good ways you enjoy what others have done?

What are all the main things that you feel you are good at?

Chapter 3: What things are hard for you?

Life would be easy if people had only strengths

Instead, most people don’t have only strengths. They have problems, too.

How about you? When you talk, do you… …get too quiet ? …get too loud? …get too close or too far? …turn yourself away? Are these problems getting better? Staying the same?

When you talk, do you… …talk too little? …talk too much? …get stuck on what you like? …interrupt or get off track? Are these problems getting better? Staying the same?

With other people, do you… …have a hard time with changes? …want your way too often? …get stuck on your own thoughts and feelings? …forget about needs of others? Are these problems getting better? Staying the same?

Do you… …have a hard time being with others? …want to do things alone much more than being with others? …like “screens” sometimes more than people? …feel confused and upset when people are mean? Are these problems getting better? Staying the same?

Do you have a really hard time with… …loud sounds? …bad tastes? …bad smells? …and does your body want to move in different ways from other kids? Are these problems getting better? Staying the same?

Does your mind have problems with… …worries about what might happen? …worries about what others are thinking? …things that make you sad? …things that make you angry? Are these problems getting better? Staying the same?

What about you? What are the main things that are hard for you?

Chapter 4: The size of problems and how they change

Everyone has problems. In that way we are all the same. But everyone has different problems of different sizes. In that way, we are all different.

A problem can be big, small or in between. Before we can work on a problem, we have to know its size.

Figuring out the size Often, a person of a problem can be can have a serious confusing. problem without really knowing they have other it. people Sometimes a person knows all about their problem. know about the problem - but the person is not aware of it himself.

To understand the size of a problem, and how it changes, we will use the e n i L r e b m u m e l b P o r al m ble o r lp … m ble o r p er . . . sm N g big n e ev r e g big ! s u o i r e s …

Let’s look at how two children explore the size of certain problems they have, using the Problem Number Line. I love to learn facts about the weather. Actually, I think about the weather most of the time. When I am talking to people, I sometimes bring up the weather when other people don’t want to hear about it. For me, this problem is about a. 6 Frank I feel good, relaxed and happy when I am doing things alone at home. I do go to Karate if my Dad makes me, but really I can’t wait to get back home to my alone activities. I guess I could say that this problem is about a. 7 Eva

Steps to figure out the size of a problem Step 1 Think: What does this problem do to you? Does your problem make it hard for you to have fun or feel good? It’s so loud in this lunch room that I can hardly stand it! This problem is about a 7! Does your problem make you get sad, angry, worried or disappointed? When people are mean to me, I can’t stop thinking about it. This problem is at least a 6.

Step 2 Think: What does your problem do to others? Does your problem make it harder for other people to feel good or get things done? It makes me feel really good and relaxed when my family has the exact same food every Saturday. But Dad says my sister finds this very annoying. So I guess this is a problem, maybe a 6. Does the problem make other people get sad, angry, worried or disappointed? Mom got me a treadmill at home to run on. But when I feel hyper I still run all over the house. Then my dog starts barking and my mom gets upset. I guess this problem is around a 7.

Problems can get bigger or smaller over time. To understand how problems change, we will use the Problem Time Line

Here is an example of how a problem can change over time. First… John played video games four hours a day after his family’s move and he could not find any friends. Then… Video games were the biggest part of his life for more than a year. He played video games even more. Then later… His dad got him signed up for acting classes. He hated them at first but he likes them okay now. He plays video games a lot less now and he has a couple friends.

Here are two more examples of what can happen to problems over time. The grown-up going over this book with me says I have been stuck on one video game a long time – this has stayed a. My speech teacher says I am now much better at looking at people. Let’s say I went from a to a ! I joined a club that meets after school once a week. I am trying to get used to it. More time with kids now. I have gone from to with being alone too much. There is an online video I can’t stop thinking about. I talk about it when other people are not talking about it. I have gotten worse with getting “off track, ” from to. 6 6 4 John 9 5 4 7 Holly

Working on a strength can make a problem change over time. I have been playing the clarinet for three years. I joined the school band. Since I joined the band, have gotten more used to being around other people and I often like it now. So that problem has gone from about to. 7 4 Kristine In my family, we all try hard to love each other and be good to each other. My family’s love has helped me recently when I went I got sick and went through all kinds of hard times. My sadness has gone from about to. 3 8 Anthony

Sometimes, something that was once a problem ends up turning into a strength. It seems like I never stopped thinking or talking about computers when I was younger. It was a pretty big problem, like a. 7 I can talk about more things now. But I actually did learn a lot about computers. My teachers say I should get a job fixing them. Allen When I was younger, I was sad a lot and I had to go see a counselor. This problem was pretty hard, like a. 6 I am happier now compared to back then. But I can remember what it felt like to be sad. This helps me sometimes when a friend feels sad, since I know what it feels like to be down. Jeremy

Chapter 5: Problems to know about and work on ……past. . . . present. . . future. . .

A problem to work on: PERSONAL SPACE Tell about times you: *got too close to someone, touched someone when you weren’t supposed to *got too far away when being close would have been better *Now, how big is this problem for you on a scale of one to ten? *In the past, how big was the problem when it was at its worst? *In the future, could this problem change? What are some ways that might happen?

A problem to work on: TALKING TOO LOUD OR TOO SOFT Tell about times you: *had a voice that was too loud and it bothered people *had a voice that was too quiet and it was hard for people to hear you *Now, how big is this problem for you on a scale of one to ten? *In the past, how big was the problem when it was at its worst? *In the future, could this problem change? What are some ways that might happen?

A problem to work on: LOOKING TOWARD PEOPLE INSTEAD OF AWAY FROM THEM Tell about times you: *did not look towards someone you were talking to or playing with *did not point your body towards someone you were listening to or talking to *Now, how big is this problem for you on a scale of one to ten? *In the past, how big was the problem when it was at its worst? *In the future, could this problem change? What are some ways that might happen?

A problem to work on: WORRYING Tell about times you: *worried that something was going to be way too hard or too scary *worried that something bad was going to happen to you or someone else *worried a whole lot about being away from your home or parents *Now, how big is this problem for you on a scale of one to ten? *In the past, how big was the problem when it was at its worst? *In the future, could this problem change? What are some ways that might happen?

A problem to work on: BEING TOO STUBBORN, “RIGID” Tell about times you: *wanted things to stay the same no matter what *made other people follow your own way to do something *Now, how big is this problem for you on a scale of one to ten? *In the past, how big was the problem when it was at its worst? *In the future, could this problem change? What are some ways that might happen?

Chapter 5: Worksheets, drawing sheets and games

How big are your problems at this point? Put a number in each small circle, 1 through 10. ©Joel Shaul 2016

Something you are good at Draw a picture of something you are good at doing – or else write something about it. Is it like one of the boxes on the right? If so, circle that box. Something I am Good At ©Joel Shaul 2016

Something you are good at making or creating Draw a picture of something you are good at creating or making. Or if you prefer, write something about it instead. I am good at making and creating: _______________ ©Joel Shaul 2016

Good things you put in your mind There are many things you like to think about and learn about. Draw a picture of one of these things. Or if you prefer, write about this instead. I put these good things in my mind: _______________ ©Joel Shaul 2016

Important things that you get done You accomplish many important things. Draw a picture of one of these things. Or if you prefer, write something about this instead. A good thing I get done: _______________ ©Joel Shaul 2016

Good ways you move your body You move your body in good ways. Draw a picture of the good ways you move your body. Or if you prefer, write something about this instead. A good way I move my body: _______________ ©Joel Shaul 2016

Good ways you care for those you love You care for the ones you love. Draw a picture of one way you show that you care. Or, if you prefer, write about this instead. A good way I move my body: _______________ ©Joel Shaul 2016

Things you enjoy that other people have done You are good at enjoying things others do. Draw a picture of one way that you pay attention to what others accomplish. Or if you prefer, write about this instead. A good way I enjoy what others do: _______________ ©Joel Shaul 2016

Something that is a problem for you Draw a picture of something that is hard for you and gives you problems. Is it like one of the boxes on the left? If so, circle that box. If you prefer, write about this instead. Something that gives me problems ©Joel Shaul 2016

A problem you have when you talk Think of a problem you have sometimes when you talk. 1. Circle the picture on the left that is something like this problem you have. If you prefer, write about this instead. 2. Draw a picture that shows the problem 3. Circle the number below that shows how big the problem is. Something that gives me problems when I talk ©Joel Shaul 2016

A problem you have when you talk – how it might change over time Think again about the problem from the page you just finished 1. Circle the picture on the left that is something like this problem you have. 2. Draw a picture that shows how your talking problem might get smaller. Or if you prefer, write about this instead. My talking problem – One possible way it might get better ©Joel Shaul 2016

A problem you have getting along with others Think of a problem you have sometimes when you are with other people. 1. Circle the picture on the left that is something like this problem you have. 2. Draw a picture that shows the problem – or else write about it. 3. Circle the number below that shows how big the problem is. Something that gives me problems when I am with other people ©Joel Shaul 2016

A problem you have getting along with othershow it might change over time Think again about the problem-on the page you just finished 1. 2. Circle the picture on the left that is something like this problem you have. Draw a picture that shows how your problem getting along with people might get smaller over time. Or write about it instead if you prefer. My problem in the future – One possible way it might get smaller ©Joel Shaul 2016