By Corrina Mc Gill To Be Named Starring

By: Corrina Mc. Gill *To Be Named

Starring: Dr. Daniel Jackson Master Teal’c of the Jaffa Col. Jack O’Neill (with two ‘L’s) Major Samantha Carter

Why are we doing this again? Jack, you were at the briefing. We’re looking for the Long. Lost Library of TBN. There are rumours that it holds books that can answer the Question of Life, the Universe, and Everything.

Why does every alien planet look like the forest in Vancouver? Tax breaks for film crews? Indeed. Stock Footage

Halt! None shall pass! Wrong story. What? I am Todd, the Evil Catfish Alien Vampire! I am the first of the challenges you must face before reaching the Long. Lost Library of TBN! Tremble before me, puny mortals! I’ve got this. No! Now I need to pick up all of these grains of rice and count them! Curse you, how did you know my weakness? Oh, what a world!

Hey, dibs on all Wizard of Oz jokes. I read Dracula. Stock Footage Halt None shall pass! Didn’t we do this bit already? What? I am Vala, the greatest thief ever! I am the second challenge you must face before reaching the Long-Lost Library of TBN! You must give me your greatest treasure.

I believe there is a large ‘X’ shape over there, which commonly denotes the presence of treasure. Will that do? Does that matter? Well, I’m a thief not a pirate, but I suppose. Wait, that’s not YOUR treasure. I read Treasure Island. Stock Footage Nope. Go ahead, Muscles.

Hello, we’re peaceful explorers looking for the Long-Lost Library of TBN. Halt, I am the Black Knight. None shall pass! What? I wasn’t finished. None shall pass until you answer me these riddles three, ere the other side you see. Ok, this time it makes sense. Who…are you? What…is your quest? African or European? Well, I don’t know. I already answered those two… What…is the average air-speed velocity of an unladen swallow? Ok, how about you get back to us when you figure it out. Monty Python, Jack?

ROAR! Stock Footage A DRAGON! You’re kidding me. Daniel, aren’t there any other libraries we could go to for that book on your meaning of life stuff? What about inter library loans? STOP!

Hello, I’m the Doctor. I mean, the Librarian. The Doctor-Librarian. Hello! How can I help you? No, please she’s friendly, aren’t you girl? See? She’s the pet of the children’s department. Jack, wrong story. We’re looking for the Answer to Life, the Universe, and Everything. Well, the Scarecrow could use some brains, the Lion needs some courage, the Tin Man wants a heart, and as for me… Well, you’ve come to the right place. Allons -y!