Business Bloopers Edited by Sharon Swift Cultural Differences

Business Bloopers Edited by Sharon Swift

Cultural Differences n Make sure that you know your audience n Make sure that you if you are talking to someone who is of another culture --that your message is completely understood.

Gerber Baby Company n Introduced its line of baby food in African markets n Unsuccessful n Learned that in Africa, companies routinely put on the label what is actually inside the container.

Puffs Tissue n Puffs in German is a colloquial term for a house of ill repute.

Branff Airlines n When promoting their new leather seats inside the planes they said, “Fly in leather”…. it translated into Spanish as Fly naked.

Kentucky Fried Chicken n “Finger Lickin’ Good” came out as …. n “Eat your fingers off. ”

Pepsi n Pepsi’s Slogan “Come Alive” …. Ended up as “Pepsi brings your ancestors back from the grave. ”

T-Shirts n “I saw the Pope” the Spanish translation is…. n I saw the potato

Big John Products n Hunt-Wesson translated Big John into Gros Jos and found out that in Canada where French is the native language, Gros Jos means big breasts.

You have to be Smarter than the average Bear n Actress n portraying Joan of Arc: …what kept me going was the thought that no matter how difficult it was for me, I knew it had been a lifetime more difficult for Joan.

Spoken Bloopers n And here’s Moses Kiptanui, the 19 -yearold Kenyan, who turned 20 a few weeks ago. n Sportscaster David Coleman

More Bloopers n “No, 23 is old. It’s almost 25, which is, like, almost mid-twenties. n Singer Jessica Simpson

Broadcaster Ron Fairley n “Bruce Sutter has been around for a while and he’s pretty old. He’s 35 years old. That will give you some idea of how old he is”.

Anatomy Bloopers n And he’s got the icepack on his groin there, so it’s possibly not the old should injury…. n Sportscaster Ray French

Anatomy Bloopers n “Winfield goes back to the wall. He hits his head on the wall and it rolls off! It’s rolling all the way back to second base! This is a terrible thing for the Padres! n San Diego Padres announcer Jerry Coleman

Pentagon Bloopers n “He is either in Afghanistan or some other country or dead” n Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld about Osama Bin Laden

More from Donald Rumsfeld n “Needless to say, the president is correct. Whatever it was he said”

And now from our National Security advisor…. n “That’s a good question and let me state the problem more clearly without going too deeply into the answer”.

From Congress n “These are not my figures I’m quoting. They’re from some who knows what he’s talking about

President Gerald Ford n Mr. Nixon was the thirty-seventh President of the United States. He had been preceded by thirty-six others.

John Kerry n Question: Would you have gone to war against Saddam Hussein if he refused to disarm? n Answer: “You bet we might have”.

Keystone Heights News n “The Labor Department said the increase in unemployment last month resulted from workers losing their jobs”.

Lancaster News n Health Department says Death Certificates are to be ordered one week in advance of death.

Madonna n “I’m starting to read to my son. But I couldn’t believe how vapid and vacant and empty all the stories were. There’s like, no lessons…There’s, like, no books about anything. ”

Actor Billy Bob Thornton n “I get creeped out and I can’t breathe and I can’t eat around it. But it’s only certain kinds of antique furniture. It mostly has to do with France and England”. n

Justin Timberlake (Rolling Stone) n Interviewer: What was the best thing you read all year? n …. ”you mean like a book? ”

Know Your Audience n Most of us have stopped using silver every day n Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher

Singer Barbara Streisand n. I want only two houses, rather than seven…I feel like letting go of things.

Abdel Rahman Al-Awadi n The Minister for Cabinet Affairs telling his countrymen how to save money in postwar Kuwait…. ”Instead of having four maids or three in the house, you can have two maids”.

The IRS n Sent a letter to a baby asking the “baby” to fill out a government form to change it’s name. n Mother got angry and replied, “Said infant is single and has never been married. Said infant has never been connvicted of a crime. Said infant’s occupation is INFANT!”

From the Makers of “Easy Sky Diving” n For the hundreds of people who bought our book, “Easy Sky Diving” please make the following correction on page 8, line 7 m the words “state zip code” should have read “pull rip cord. ” – Warrenton Virginia Newspaper

Note to Bank Teller from Bank Robber n Milk n Loaf of Bread n Pick Up Laundry

National Funeral Director Spokesman n “We were disturbed by the ridicule because death, especially to the person who has just experienced it, is not funny. ”

Hong Kong Polytechnic University Report n The dead also demonstrated a higher level of anxiety than the survived as they found life dull and had more worries…Dead patients had fewer social contacts and more of them were living alone that the survived.

President George H. W. Bush n. I have opinions of my own—strong opinions—but I don’t always agree with them.

More George Bush n “You n have Blacks too? ” George Bush talking to Brazilian President Fernando Cardoso

More George Bushisms n “I aim to be a competitive nation. ” n San Jose, California, April 21, 2006

More George Bushisms n “I think there is some methodology in my travels. ” n Washington, D. C. ; March 5, 2001

More George Bushisms n “The march to war hurt the economy. Laura reminded me a while ago that--remember what was on the TV screens--she calls me George W. ---George W--I call her ‘First Lady’. No anyway—she said, we said, march to war on our TV screen. ---March 11, 2004

More George Bushisms n “Recession means that people’s incomes, at the employer level, are going down, basically, relative to costs, people are getting laid off. ” n Washington, D. C. February 19, 2004

More George Bushisms n “This morning my administration released the budget numbers for fiscal 2006. These budget numbers are not just estimates; these are actual results for the fiscal year that ended February the thirtieth. ”--Referring to the fiscal year that ended Sept. 30, Washington, D. C. October 11, 2006

And yet another one…. n “Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we. ” – August 5, 2004

And yet still more… n “One of the hardest parts of my job is to console the family members who have lost their life”. – White House, April 13, 2004

One last one… n “Home is important. It’s important to have a home. ” – Crawford Texas; February 18, 2001

Know how to add n “We talked five times. I called him twice, and he called me twice… – Philadelphia Phillies Manager Larry Bowa

Chile has three options n “They n could win or they could lose. . ” Sportscaster Kevin Keegan

Sportscaster Jerry Coleman n That’s Hendrick’s 19 th home run. One more and he reaches double figures!”

Public Finance Magazine n Former Westminster city council leader Dame Shirley Porter and the four other members make up the Wesminster Six. ”

From a Bank Robber: n Give me $418 and no ones.

Legal Eagle or Turkey? n “I meant to kill my wife, but I forgot my glasses”.

Attorney for Client n For the most part, he’s innocent.

Judge to Defendant n The charge here is theft of frozen chickens. Are you the defendant? n Answer “No Sir, I am the guy who stole the chickens. ”

Know how to Write n Newspaper headlines Cockroach Slain; Husband Badly Hurt n Man shoots Neighbor with Machete n For Most People Death Comes at the End of their Lives n

Disastrous Introductions n Here now is the Reverend Father Mc. Fadden known all over the city, all over the country, all over the world, and all over the …. er, and other places besides…

More disastrous introductions n My colleague…. the senior senator from junior….

After Fans had hung up their coats on the fence n “would all the fans in the outfield please remove their clothing? ”

Public Speaking n Everyone makes mistakes. n As Gerald Ford put it…. n When a man is asked to make a pseech, the first thing he has to decide is what to say….

Dan Quayle n At the openiong of an Apollo 11 anniversary celebration: n “My fellow astronauts…”

Think before you speak…. n What time is the midnight buffet? n Do these stairs go up or down? n Can you send money through the fax machine? n Why can’t I find any photographs of dinosaurs?

Be careful when offering…. n. A n Barbeque…. Foreign people think of corn as animal food.