BULLYING TIPS FOR PARENTS TEACHERS AND CHURCH LEADERS

BULLYING TIPS FOR PARENTS, TEACHERS, AND CHURCH LEADERS LINDA MEI LIN KOH, Ed. D. GENERAL CONFERENCE CHILDREN’S MINISTRIES

B-U-L-L-Y-I-N-G • Why do we need to talk about this? • Is bullying real? • Is it happening? • What is bullying?

BULLYING? IS IT REAL? IS IT HAPPENING? WHERE? WHEN? HOW?

WHAT IS BULLYING? BULLYING IS REPEATED • Verbal • Physical • Social or Psychological • Aggressive Behavior by a Person

WHAT IS BULLYING? Aggressive behavior by a person or group directed towards a less powerful person or group that is intended to cause harm, distress or fear.

WHAT IS BULLYING? BULLYING IS SCARING OR HURTING, ON PURPOSE, ANOTHER PERSON WHO CANNOT DEFEND HIMSELF OR HERSELF.

WHAT ARE THE TYPES OF BULLYING? • Verbal bullying • Physical bullying • Social bullying • Cyber bullying

VERBAL BULLYING Making reference to one’s culture, ethnicity, race, religion, gender or looks • • Name calling Joking Sarcastic remarks Teasing Constant criticism Displaying offensive posters Spreading rumors/Gossiping

PHYSICAL BULLYING • Hitting • Poking • Pinching • Chasing

PHYSICAL BULLYING • Shoving • Coercing • Destroying or stealing belongings • Unwanted sexual touching

SOCIAL BULLYING • Mobbing or ganging together • Scapegoating or blaming others for punishment • Excluding others from a group • Humiliating others with public gestures intended to put down others

SOCIAL BULLYING Using internet, phones or computers for text messaging or social media to: • Intimidate • Put down • Spread rumors • Make fun of someone

IS BULLYING REALLY A PROBLEM? • How do we know the magnitude of the negative impact of bullying? • What is the negative consequences of this behavior? Knowing STATISTICS will open our eyes to the true magnitude of the problem.

WHAT DO STATISTICS SAY ABOUT BULLYING? A survey in 2014 of more than 3, 600 young people in 36 schools and colleges across the UK highlights the current climate of bullying among teenagers, ages 13 -18. www. ditchthelabel. org/uk-bullying-statistics-2014/ THE ANNUAL BULLYING SURVEY 2014 UK Experienced bullying before 18 years old 45% Experienced bullying in a daily basis 26% Bullied for personal appearance, body size, shape and weight 36% Never told anybody that they are bullied 39% Not satisfied from teacher’s support when bullied 51% Bullied for prejudice/race, religious, disability, cultural discrimination 34% Bullied for disability, extremely excluded socially 63% Physically attacked 61% Gone self-harm as a result of bullying 30% Attempted suicide as a result of bullying 10% Been sexually assaulted 10% Confirmed bullying affected self-esteem 83% Confirmed bullying affected their studies 56%

WHAT DO STATISTICS SAY ABOUT STATES WITH HIGH FREQUENCY OF BULLYING? Source: Bureau of Justice Statistics, US Department of Health and Human Services, Cyberbullying Research Center Research Date: 7. 8. 2014 Bullying is a form of aggressive behavior manifested by the use of force or coercion to affect others, particularly when the behavior is habitual and involves an imbalance of power. It can include verbal harassment, physical assault or coercion and may be directed repeatedly STATES WITH HIGHEST LEVEL OF BULLYING Rank State 1 California 2 New York 3 Illinois 4 Pennsylvania 5 Washington toward particular victims, perhaps on grounds of race, religion, gender, sexuality, or ability. The “imbalance of power” may be social power and/or physical power. The victim of bullying is sometimes referred to as a “target. ” http: //www. statisticbrain. com/cyberbullying-statistics/

WHAT DO STATISTICS SAY ABOUT BULLYING? Source: Bureau of Justice Statistics, US Department of Health and Human Services, Cyberbullying Research Center Research Date: 7. 8. 2014 Bullying Statistics Data Percent of teens who report being bullied while at school 37% Percent of students who bully others often 17% Made fun of by a bully 20% Had rumors or gossip spread about them 10% Physically bullied 20% Threatened 6% Excluded from activities they wanted to participate in 5% Coerced into something they did not want to do 4% http: //www. statisticbrain. com/cyber-bullying-statistics/

WHAT DO STATISTICS SAY ABOUT FREQUENCY OF BULLYING? Source: Bureau of Justice Statistics, US Department of Health and Human Services, Cyberbullying Research Center Research Date: 7. 8. 2014 Percent of bullying that occurred inside the school 85% Percent of bullying that occurred on school grounds, bus, or on their way 11% Percent of victims that reported the bullying to someone at school 29% Victims who were bullied once or twice during the school year 2 in 3 Victims who were bullied once or twice a month 1 in 5 Victims who were bullied daily or several times a week 1 in 10 Percent of middle schools that reported bullying problems 44% Had personal belongings destroyed by bullies 4% http: //www. statisticbrain. com/cyber-bullying-statistics/

WHAT DO STATISTICS SAY ABOUT CYBER-BULLYING? Source: Bureau of Justice Statistics, US Department of Health and Human Services, Cyberbullying Research Center Research Date: 7. 8. 2014 Elementary schools that reported bullying problems 20% High schools that reported bullying problems 20% Percent of middle and high school students who have had hate terms used against them 10% Percent of students who avoided school or certain places because they were afraid of being harmed in some way 7% Percent of teen weapon injuries that took place at school 8% Cyber Bullying Stat Data Percent of students who reported being cyber bullied 52% Percent of teens who have experienced cyber threats online 33% Percent of teens who have been bullied repeatedly through their cell phones or the Internet 25% Percent of teens who do not tell their parents when cyber-bullying occurs 52% Percent of teens who have had embarrassing or damaging pictures taken of themselves without their permission, often with cell phone cameras 11% http: //www. statisticbrain. com/cyber-bullying-statistics/

WHAT DO STATISTICS SAY ABOUT THE TYPES OF VICTIMS? Source: Bureau of Justice Statistics, US Department of Health and Human Services, Cyberbullying Research Center Research Date: 7. 8. 2014 STAT Homosexual and bisexual teens are more likely to report bullying than heterosexual teens Students with disabilities are more likely to be the victims of bullying Females are more often the victims of bullying than males Males are more likely to experience physical or verbal bullying Females are more likely to experience social or psychological bullying Females and white students reported the most incidents of being the victims of bullying http: //www. statisticbrain. com/cyber-bullying-statistics

WHAT DO STATISTICS SAY ABOUT BULLYING? The survey on the school lives of LGBTs, the first large-scale study undertaken in Japan, found that 68 percent of the 609 respondents experienced bullying in elementary, junior high school. SEXUAL MINORITIESLGBT’S KANTO REGION, JAPAN 2014 Bullied by teachers 12% Bullied for over one year 43% Thought of committing suicide 32% Injured themselves by cutting their wrist 22% http: //www. japantimes. co. jp/news/2014/05/08/national/lgbt-bullying-rife-in-schools-survey/#. U-a. UH

WHAT DO STATISTICS SAY ABOUT BULLYING? The survey in 2013 in South Africa polled 2, 064 students, ages 13 to 21, and 1, 015 family members, ages 18 to 34. http: //www. timeslive. co. za/local/2013/0 1/24/57 -of-sa-children-claim-to-havebeen-bullied-at-school SOUTH AFRICA JANUARY 24, 2013 Students worried about being assaulted with a weapon 68% Students worried about being attacked 78% BY RACE Whites 69% Blacks 54% BY GENDER Male Female 63% among males 71% among females BULLYING WEAPONS Teasing and insults 52% Pushed, hit or beaten 26% By e-mail, cellphones, social media 16% Believed bullies to have guns and knives 45%

WHAT DO STATISTICS SAY ABOUT BULLYING? Source: AFRICA WOMEN AND CHILD Students reported to have been beaten up or hit Blackmailed or threatened MAY 2007 | KENYA 63% 64% Called bad, nasty names 71% Had tricks played on them 68% Lies been told about them 72% BY GENDER Female 60% Male 67% BY SCHOOLS National Schools 70% experienced one form of bullying Provincial Schools 60% experienced one form of bullying VICTIM BULLIES Bullied by person older than them 30% Bullied by person younger than them 10% http: //www. awcfs. org/new/index. php/features/education/238 -bullying-in-kenyan-schools-higherthan-world-rate#sthash. o 4 Jln. Mq. Q. dpuf

2011 Harvard School of Health Study

WHO WILL BE THE FUTURE OF THE CHURCH? Who will be the church of tomorrow? Challenges are real. WHAT IS OUR ROLE in creating a bully-free environment?

WHAT PARENTS, TEACHERS AND CHURCH LEADERS CAN DO AWARENESS is very important. Our response to bullying needs to be PREVENTIVE and PROACTIVE. The Adventist Home “The Adventist home is a home where Seventh-day Adventist standards and practices are lived and taught, a place to which Seventh-day Adventist fathers and mothers are commissioned by Christ to go and make Christians of the members of the households. And in order to perform that tasks well, … [look] for all help they can possibly find. ” Ellen G. White, The Adventist Home, p. 5. 1.

WHAT PARENTS, TEACHERS AND CHURCH LEADERS CAN DO AWARENESS is very important. Our response to bullying needs to be PREVENTIVE and PROACTIVE. The Adventist Home “Ellen G. White … has touched upon every phase of the home, and offers specific instruction on many problems which gives so much concern to thoughtful and often anxious parents today. ” Before she died, “she indicated her desire to get out ‘a book for Christian parents’ that would define ‘the mother’s duty and influence over her children. ’ The Adventist Home, p. 5. 2.

WHAT PARENTS, TEACHERS, AND CHURCH LEADERS CAN DO AWARENESS is very important. Our response to bullying needs to be PREVENTIVE and PROACTIVE. The Adventist Home This book, The Adventist Home, a handbook or manual for busy parents, is the ideal “pattern … of what home can and should become. ” The Adventist Home, p. 5. 3.

WHAT ARE THE SIGNS OF BULLYING? • Coming home with damaged or missing clothes, without money they should have, or with scratches and bruises. • Having trouble with homework for no apparent reason. • Using a different route between home and school. • Feeling irritable, easily upset or particularly emotional.

WHAT ARE THE EFFECTS OF BULLYING? • Feel lonely, unhappy, and frightened. • Feel unsafe. • Feel something is wrong with them. • Lose confidence. • May not want to go to school. • May feel sick.

BULLYING LONG-TERM CONSEQUENCES PHYSICAL AND PSYCHOLOGICAL • Shyness • Stomachaches • Headaches • Panic attacks

BULLYING LONG-TERM CONSEQUENCES PHYSICAL AND PSYCHOLOGICAL • Sleeplessness • Sleeping too long • Being exhausted • Having nightmares

BULLYING IS PRIMITIVE

WHAT PARENTS CAN DO

WHAT PARENTS CAN DO BULLY–FREE your HOME School is just an extension of our home. If children are bullied at home, they become bullies or they continue to be bullied at school. Re-learn your home discipline styles. Create a BULLY-FREE ZONE.

WHAT PARENTS CAN DO BULLY–FREE your HOME “Purity in speech and true Christian courtesy should be constantly practiced. Teach the children and youth to respect themselves [and others], to be true to God, true to principle; teach them to respect and obey the law of God. ” The Adventist Home, p. 16. 3. Begin with SELF to create a BULLY-FREE ZONE.

WHAT PARENTS CAN DO BULLY–FREE your HOME “Every one of us knows that conditions in society are but a reflection of conditions in the homes of the nation. We likewise know that a change in the home is mirrored in a changed society. ” The Adventist Home, p. 6. 3. Begin at HOME to create a BULLY-FREE ZONE.

WHAT PARENTS, TEACHERS, CHURCH LEADERS CAN DO B – Be aware of the signs and symptoms of bullying in the behavior of a child being bullied. U – Understand that the bully and the bullied both need help; they are both victims. L – Listen, listen! Let them tell stories. L – Log every incident reported. Let the child keep a diary. Y – Yoke them into the Hands of the Almighty through prayer constantly.

WHAT PARENTS, TEACHERS, CHURCH LEADERS CAN DO F – Find new friends for your children where they can find genuine connection. R – Report to parents, school administrators, and organizations that can help. E – Express your love and concern to your children and other children in a higher level. E – Educate all persons involved and concerned.

WHAT PARENTS CAN DO Z – Zero-tolerance to bullying be the aim from home to school and everywhere. O – Organize a parent coalition—no bully clubs—there’s credibility in a united group effort to express your concern. N – Never, never give up! Keep on fighting for our children’s right, the right way. Never encourage your child to retaliate physically. E – Expose and dispose of the bullying tactics.

LET’S CREATE A BULLY-FREE ENVIRONMENT

TRAIN YOUR CHILDREN TODAY LEAD TO STOP BULLYING IN OUR HOMES, IN OUR SCHOOLS, IN OUR CHURCHES

TRAIN YOUR CHILDREN TODAY BUILD A CARING, SECURE, SAFE, PEACEFUL CHURCH OF TOMORROW

REFERENCES Blanco, Jodee. Bullying; Life Saving tips for Parents of a Bullied or Excluded Child, Pediatrics Week via News. Rx. com, 2010. Sprung, B. , M. Froschl & B. Hinitz. The anti-Bullying and Teasing Book for Pre-school Classrooms, Beltsville, MD: Gryphon House, 2005.

REFERENCES http: //www. awcfs. org/new/index. php/features/educat ion/238 -bullying-in-kenyan-schools-higher-than-worldrate#sthash. o 4 Jln. Mq. Q. dpuf www. bullyingcanada. ca/content/239900 Department of Education and Early Childhood Development, Victoria Canada , July 23, 2014 www. education. vic. gov. au/aboutprograms/bullystoppe rs/pages//whataspx

REFERENCES Government of Alberta http: //www. statisticbrain. com/cyber-bullying-statistics http: //www. timeslive. co. za/local/2013/01/24/57 -of-sachildren-claim-to-have-been-bullied-at-school