BULLIES ARE EVERYWHERE Power Issues at Home Work

BULLIES ARE EVERYWHERE : Power Issues at Home, Work, and School Part I: Theory Stuart W. Twemlow, MD Professor of Psychiatry Baylor School of Medicine Houston, Texas Bullies Are Everywhere

“Power Does Not Corrupt People, People Corrupt Power” Andre Gide Bullies Are Everywhere

Bullies Will Only Do What Bystanders Allow……… Bullies Are Everywhere

Why Care About Bullies • Bullying, Shame, and Humiliation Lead to Violence • Bullying Reduces Achievement • Creates Reactive Groups Rather Than Work Groups • Reduces the Quality of Life in Communities, by Creating Special Interest Groups Bullies Are Everywhere

The Circle of Power Bullies Are Everywhere

Power Dynamics Theory • Power Dynamics Drive Individual and Group Behavior • Power Dynamics are often an Unconscious Trialectical Relationship Ø Bully-Victimizer Ø Victim Ø Bystander Ø Power’s Coerciveness Ranges from Everyday Insensitivities to Mass Murder Bullies Are Everywhere

Social Context or Crucible • Power is Enacted Socially within Contexts • Bystanders Are Causal Ingredients in Problem Not Passive Observers • Power Conflicts Are Always Shifting • Coercion Evolves from Frozen Dynamics • Leader Can Be a Bully-Victim-Bystander • Climates Form Within Social Contexts • A Dysfunctional Social Context Impacts the Individual Bullies Are Everywhere

Bully Role: Victimizer • Sadomasochistic Enjoyment of the Pain of Others • Lacks Empathy • Enjoys Dominant Status in Social Context • Uses Humiliation to Improve Social Status Bullies Are Everywhere

Bully Typology • Sadistic: Psychopathic ØCold, Popular, Manipulates Others (Enron) • Depressed: Bully’s Sidekick (homophilly) ØUnkempt, Socially Insecure, Attaches to Sadistic Bully to Gain Status • Bully - Victim: Bullies by Being a Victim ØClass Clown, Attracts Negative Attention, Gains Power by Being a Victim Bullies Are Everywhere

VICTIM ROLE • Submissive • Masochistic • Driven to Please • Rescue Driven Bullies Are Everywhere

BYSTANDER ROLE • The Audience for Public Humiliation • Can Identify with Both Victim and Victimizer • Humiliation is the Critical Ingredient • Can Be an Individual or Group Bullies Are Everywhere

BYSTANDER TYPOLOGY • Bully Bystander Ø Excited by Actions of the Bully Ø Cheers On or Laughs at Bully’s Shaming • Victim Bystander Ø Sheepishly Looks On as Bully Humiliates Ø Offers Comfort only AFTERWARDS to Victim • Abdicating Bystander Ø Usually a System, Leader, or Governing Body Ø Takes No Action to Stop Bully Ø Blames Others for the Problem Bullies Are Everywhere

Redefining Bullying DYADIC TRIADIC • Victim-victimizer primary focus • Individual’s role as bully or victim is seen as fixed • Audience is passive observer • Purely external/social definition • Bully-Victim are behavioral roles • Focus is on behavioral change • Intervention targets individuals • • Social context of bully-victimbystander (focus on bystander) Bully-Victim-Bystander roles cocreated and in flux (always changing) Audience has an active role in violence Stress the role of unconscious power dynamics & processes Bully-Victim-Bystanders have complex combinations of roles & unconscious affiliations Focus is on Mentalizing Intervention aimed at CLIMATE Bullies Are Everywhere

• Self Awareness Some Bystanding Roles HELPFUL BYSTANDING • Reflective Mindsets • Accurate Reading of Others Peaceful Outcome VICTIM • Impulsivity VICTIMIZER DESTRUCTIVE BYSTANDING • Concrete thinking • Misread Danger signals Active roles • Bully Bystander • Puppet master • Sham bystander Passive roles • Victim bystander • Avoidant bystander • Abdicating bystander Bullies Are Everywhere Violent Outcome