Becoming and Finding a Good Partner Love and

Becoming and Finding a Good Partner Love and Life Relationships Series Peace Through Love and Education

Greg Baer, M. D.

Becoming a Good Partner

Marriage Relationships Marriageand Relaionships Preparing to be a good partner and choosing one is one of the most important decisions in our lives to make, but there is very little education on it. For all other things in life we need a test-- for driving, for a career, but for marriage we go by FEELINGS.

Perfection of Love Real Love is unconditionally caring about the happiness of another person without any thought for what we might get for ourselves. Dr. Greg Baer

Disappointment and anger separate Real Love from every counterfeit. The moment I become irritated at you I’m saying: Look what you did to ME! Look what you should’ve done for ME!

What We. Needisis. Real. Love With REAL LOVE nothing else matters, without it, nothing else is enough

Finding a Good Partner

When to Marry Marriage alone should never be the goal Do you feel empty and afraid? Do you often get angry, withdrawn, or act like a victim,

Making the Commitment The key is to be honest with yourself Before you consider whom you will marry, first ask yourself if you are prepared to be an unconditionally loving spouse

the question to ask is not just “is this person good for me, but - AM I GOOD FOR THAT PERSON. Even if the other person never changes – CAN I LIVE WITH IT?

You can learn to love anyone, but when looking for a lifelong partner, you want someone who is also capable of unconditionally loving you. Then you’ll enjoy a sharing of Real Love

Learning About our Potential Partner “I’d like to get to know you better, and I’d like to share more of who I am with you. Learning about one another is actually great fun.

Meaningful Conversation Tell about an experience today that you enjoyed - or was annoying Tell me more about your job/school I read ____ online today. I feel ____ about that. How do you feel?

Tell me about your family. Perhaps read the “ 5 Love Languages” by Gary Chapman together – it’s fun!!! Or read “Men are From Mars, Women are from Venus” by John Gray together. Great discussion points.

Are You on the Same Page Faith – Questions about your faith. Children – You both have missions or careers – how will the children be cared for?

Mission – Balance between mission/career and family Residence – where will you live? Should your career or mission require you to move – what will the other partner do?

What you really want most in a partner is a willingness to tell the truth and a desire to learn how to be unconditionally loving. Everything else is a distant second.

Everything can be resolved with a partner who wants to learn, change and grow in love.

I’m Already Married – Now What?

When Expectations Don’t Meet Reality We suffer in silence We become angry and hurt We blame our partner for not changing We shut down and give up

marital challenges are inevitable in any marriage. It’s how we resolve them that matters.

What To Do? “Change your thoughts, and you change your life. ”

How our Partner Helps Us Grow https: //youtube/4 d. UFi. WE 83 Ac

RESOURCES http: //familyfed. org TEACHINGS o o Education DP Life DP Workshops Holy Scriptures MINISTRIES o Blessing and Family Ministry Marriage Blessing Matching Couple Care Family Care Community Care o Tribal Messiah o Youth Ministry Sunday School Summer Programs RESOURCES CARP ACLC WFWP MEDIA NEWS & STORIES

Books 4 Essential Keys to Effective Communication in Love, Life, Work–Anywhere! Bento C. Leal III Real Love Series – Greg Baer, M. D. Real Love in Marriage Real Love in Dating Real Love in Parenting Boundaries Series – Dr. Henry Cloud & Dr. John Townsend Boundaries in Marriage Boundaries in Dating Boundaries with Kids Men, Women and Relationships – John Gray, Ph. D. Men Are from Mars, Women are from Venus - John Gray, Ph. D. 5 Love Languages – Gary Chapman 5 Love Languages for Children – Gary Chapman True Family Values – HSA-UWC