Bart van den Dolder Drenthe College location Meppel

Bart van den Dolder

Drenthe College, location Meppel • • About 800 students Age: about 16 – 21 years old Vocational education Several courses of study

My work experience 1975 -1990: teacher (Dutch language) 1990 -2000: leader of several teams and member participation council 2000 -2007: timetabling and planning 2007 -2012: chairman works council and confidential adviser retired in September 2012

Confidential adviser

The Dutch law obliges every school to have : a complaints procedure a complaints committee confidential advisers (male/female)

Several kinds of complaints: School organizational frequently cancelled lessons problems with exams conflict with a teacher No complaints for a confidential adviser !

Several kinds of complaints: Unwanted behaviour Par excellence: complaints to consult a confidential adviser !

Confidential adviser Tasks: • point of contact in case of complaints of unwanted behaviour • first intake of a complainer • advising a complainer • look for a solution together with complainer • examine the case: what does the complainer want?

Confidential adviser • assisting a defendant • complainer: confidential adviser A • defendant: confidential adviser B

18+ or 18 Under 18 : • obliged to inform parents or guardians Over 18 : • not obliged to inform parents or guardians • in practice: parents or partner are informed

Choice of a complainer • Mediation • Report a complaint • File a complaint • In case of a punishable act: always complaint and report to the management the police

Mediation • the case is not a sexual crime or a punishable act • both participants want a solution • both participants act voluntarily • both participants accept a solution • agreements will be registered and verified

Report Depending on the seriousness, report to • • the supervisor of the class the leader of the team/manager the director the board

Complaint Depending on the seriousness, report to • the school management • the complaints committee • the police

Procotol • • who must be informed? what happens with the complainer? what happens with the defendant? which authorities must be informed?

Secrecy • confidential adviser cannot promise secrecy • confidential adviser can promise carefullness • confidential adviser should be able to refer the complainer to an expert • confidential adviser must inform the complainer who will be informed and why • confidental adviser must sort out the complainers wish of secrecy

Unwanted behaviour Sexual intimidation Every kind of verbal, nonverbal or corporal behaviour with a sexual intention which has the aim to harm the dignity of somebody, especially when creating a threatening, hateful, humiliating, disparaging or insulting attitude.

Unwanted behaviour Manifestation of sexual intimidation: • • • verbal, sexual intimidation hostile disparaging behaviour suggestive impute behaviour (internet) porn digital sexual intimidation physical violence violation rape loverboys banga list

Unwanted behaviour Agression and violence Incidents in which somebody is bothered, threatened or attacked verbally or nonverbally, psychologically or corporally.

Unwanted behaviour Manifestation of agression and violence Verbal: • cursing • insulting • hostility • threat Fysical: • kicking • biting • grabbing • armed violence

Unwanted behaviour Psychological: • • bothering intimidating irritating stalking

Unwanted behaviour Discrimination Every kind of making a difference, exclusion, restriction or preference of somebody because of race, ethnic origion, age, handicap, gender of sexual nature. Manifestation of discrimination Making a difference in one of the mentioned aspects.

Unwanted behaviour Bullying and tormenting All kinds of intimidating behaviour in a structural way, directed against someone who is not able to defend himself to this behaviour.

Unwanted behaviour Manifestation of bullying and tormenting • • social isolation mocking gossip cyberbullying

Bullying has a snowball effect Bullying is the worst way of unwanted behaviour. The victim cannot defend himself and does not know a way out.

Bullying can drive someone to commit suicide. . Last year we have seen this twice in Holland. . In December 2012 in our own city of Meppel. .

Fleur Bloemen

Poem by Fleur At my previous school I was bullied very much I was different than the other ones Different from the rest I don’t know why It began as a game It got out of hand And to me it ended in a hell It went on for three years And not just name calling every day Which I also hear every day I had enough of it

Poem by Fleur I had it up to here Now I’m away from there With great pleasure Deep in my heart I’m afraid Because it might repeat itself Then I will feel that pain again And I never want that any more

A classmate says: “I find it so terribly pathetic. She was always called fatty”

Silent march

Mayor Westmaas: • Bullying is hurtful • Bullying causes psychological damage • Bullying is villainously scratching someone’s soul

What parents and teachers can do: • • give the person support and understanding make the feeling debatable give the person self-confidence make compliments to the person about things he is good at and encourage him • refer the person to a confidential adviser • • talk with bullies make bullies aware of the impact of their behaviour do not tolerate the behaviour of bullies do not be afraid to sanction

House rules It is normal: - to respect each other - to help each other in case of problems - to take care of each other It is normal: - to have a pleasant schooltime - to feel safe at school

Profile confidential adviser At random: • • • listen patiently advise considerate confidential independant communicate honest distance to the case not a private investigator

Audience Thanks for your attention!