Back in the Playground Blues Adrian Mitchell You

‘Back in the Playground Blues’ Adrian Mitchell. “You get it for being Jewish Get it for being black Get it for being chicken Get it for fighting back You get it for being big and fat Get it for being small O, those who get it and get it For any damn thing at all”

What is a Peer Mentor? A peer mentor is: A friend An Advisor A teacher A friendly ear A role model A helper A sympathetic listener.

Qualities of a Peer Mentor • The person must have…. • Decision making skills e. g. identifying the problem and acting upon it. • A friendly personality. • Peer mentors must not draw attention to the pro active student at any time. • Peer mentors are trust worthy, caring, respectful, non judgemental and understanding. • PEER MENTORS CANNOT KEEP SECRETS!

Aims • The Mentors aim to provide a supportive mentoring system for all years in the school. • For this system to be maintained and evaluated by all concerned

Responsibilities • The Mentors are prepared to deal with issues specific and non-specific to bullying. • To organise meetings in an area which will promote privacy and a positive atmosphere. • The Mentors will follow up and review targets set at initial meetings. • Or, set up following meetings if necessary in order to monitor any concerns. • During meetings with students both mentor and pro active student will be expected to follow ground rules. • To maintain a role of responsibility and treat all with respect. • All involved are prepared to share good practice.

Ground Rules • These are for mentor and pro active student and should be clearly displayed during all meetings. • Ensure confidentiality or privacy where appropriate or as possible. • Respect each others views. • Keep interview / sessions informal.

Training 1. During training we were taught what body language we had to use to make the proactive student feel comfortable. 2. The most important part of mentor training was the levels of listening. It was stressed that we had to concentrate when listening because we might often find ourselves not consciously paying attention to what's being said. 3. Very little eye contact, distracting actions such as looking out of the window or at the clock, continuing to do an unrelated task such as writing or picking up the phone to make a call-these were some of the rules for levels of listening.

Decision making skills • Giving someone space • Checking out you’ve understood them when you are reflecting back • Possibly pointing out alternatives • Relevant and up-to-date information • Assurance they can make the decision • Not making the decision for the proactive student • Thinking through steps-be and be specific

A five step process to decision making • • • Identify the problem Explore the alternatives and consequences Choose the next step Act upon your choice Evaluate the results

Open ended questions • • • “What does it feel like? ” “Can you tell me more about……. . ? ” “How are you feeling right now? ” “Would you like to talk about? ” “Where would you like to begin? ” “How do you feel now about……. . ? ” “Can you tell me what that means to you? ” “How would you like things to be? ” “What do you imagine……. ? ” “What have you thought of? ”

Where do we go from here? After the training; • Support for the peer mentors • Establish guidelines for good practise • Devise and advertise a referral system • What will we wear badges? A base? Rota? In the future; • Link with form classes • Try and organise a way in which we can work with students specifically suffering from peer pressure.

Why do Bullies Bully? • • • They are afraid of being bullied themselves. They may have suffered problems at home. To look good in front of their friends. To feel powerful over other students To make them feel better REMEMBER THE VICTIM DOES NOT HAVE THE PROBLEM. IT’S THE BULLY

Why Students? • Because it is easier to connect with someone your own age. • Because it is a more comfortable atmosphere. • There is no pressure talking to another student than what there might be talking to a teacher.

An account • The worst case of bullying I ever had was a young girl who had a nasty text message from a ‘so called’ friend. The biggest problem with this case was that she was frightened to walk around the corridor's to her lessons, so the first step was to get her to each and every lesson the only way she felt safe was for me to walk her to lesson so that’s what I did. Next was to sort the problem out and the only way suitable was for the proactive student to sit opposite the bully whilst I over watched them. They talked out their problems and then they sorted the whole problem out themselves.

An Experience A boy in my class was suffering with problems and regularly lost his temper and got angry using foul language and became violent towards other pupils and on occasion staff. I mentored him and sat with him through anger management classes. He has now left our school and he thanked me by informing me how the mentoring had helped.

The difference we think it has made. • When we first started with the rota approximately three people came to the drop in sessions that I was at. Now because we are being successful I do not often see visitors. • Now that bullying is being tackled there a lot more students who are achieving their potential. High standards are expected. • We do not deal with severe cases of bullying as a result. • Hopefully students find it easier to talk to each other. • Hopefully there is a friendlier atmosphere around the school.

The peer mentors are in: ·Year 8 ·Year 9 ·Year 10 ·Year 11 ·Year 12 The Chauncy School You can find out more by looking on the web, try; www. uncg. edu/encass/bullyi ng/DOCS/childline. htm www. kidscape. org. uk We do not tolerate bullying www. nspcc. org. uk There is further advice in your planner. www. childline. org. uk Kidscape a charity that provides help, advice and support for children who are being bullied has trained 18 of your peers. These students are now called peer mentors and can be easily recognized by the red ‘mentor’ pins that they wear. They are ready and willing to offer advice, support and their time for anyone who needs to speak with them. Remember that by not talking about bullying you are helping to let it carry on. Be a loud mouth talk about it. MENTORS