Assertiveness Done by nadeen al shayeb manar ghabayin

Assertiveness Done by : nadeen al shayeb manar ghabayin

Outline: • • • Objectives Introduction Definition Difference between aggression and assertiveness and passive Benefits How to develop your Assertiveness skills Define the rights of assertive. Assertive communication techniques Summary Conclusion Evidence based article

Objectives: • By the end of this seminar, the students will be able to: • Define the assertiveness • Recognize the difference between assertiveness and aggression and passive • How to develop assertivness skills • Recognize the benefits for assertiveness • Know the rights of assertiveness • Indentify the techniques for assertiveness

Introduction • . During the second half of the 20 th century, assertiveness was increasingly singled out as a behavioral skill taught by many personal development experts, behavior therapists, and cognitive behavioral therapists. Assertiveness is often linked to self-esteem. • being assertive we should always respect the thoughts, feelings and beliefs of other people. • Those who behave assertively always respect the thoughts, feelings and beliefs of other people as well as their own.

Assertiveness concerns being able to express feelings, wishes, wants and desires appropriately and is an important personal and interpersonal skill. In all your interactions with other people, whether at home or at work, with employers, customers or colleagues, assertiveness can help you to express yourself in a clear, open and reasonable way, without undermining your own or others’ rights. Assertiveness enables individuals to act in their own best interests, to stand up for themselves without undue anxiety, to express honest feelings comfortably and to express personal rights without denying the rights of others.

Defintion • Assertiveness is the ability to express yourself and your rights without violating the rights of others. • its means standing up for your personal rights expressing thoughts, feelings and beliefs in direct, honest and appropriate ways.

Aggressive behaviour • An aggressive person behaves as if their needs are most important and they have more rights and more to contribute than other people • AGGRESSIVE is a style in which individuals express their feelings and opinions and advocate for their needs in a way that violates the rights of others. Thus, aggressive communicators are verbally and/or physically abusive. Aggressive communication is born of low self-esteem (often caused by past physical and/or emotional abuse), unhealed emotional wounds, and feelings of powerlessness.

• Aggressive communicators will often: • - try to dominate others - use humiliation to control others - criticize, blame, or attack others - be very impulsive - have low frustration tolerance - speak in a loud, demanding, and overbearing voice - act threateningly and rudely - not listen well - interrupt frequently - use “you” statements - have piercing eye contact and an overbearing posture

Passive behavior • PASSIVE is a style in which individuals have developed a pattern of avoiding expressing their opinions or feelings, protecting their rights, and identifying and meeting their needs. Passive communication is usually born of low selfesteem. These individuals believe: “I’m not worth taking care of. ” • Passive communicators will often: • - fail to assert for themselves • - allow others to deliberately or inadvertently infringe on their rights • - fail to express their feelings, needs, or opinions • - tend to speak softly or apologetically • - exhibit poor eye contact and slumped body posture

Assertive behavior • ASSERTIVE is a style in which individuals clearly state their opinions and feelings, and firmly advocate for their rights and needs without violating the rights of others. Assertive communication is born of high self-esteem. These individuals value themselves, their time, and their emotional, spiritual, and physical needs and are strong advocates for themselves while being very respectful of the rights of others.

Assertive communicators will: • - state needs and wants clearly, appropriately, and respectfully - express feelings clearly, appropriately, and respectfully - use “I” statements - communicate respect for others - listen well without interrupting - feel in control of self - have good eye contact - speak in a calm and clear tone of voice - have a relaxed body posture - feel connected to others - feel competent and in control - not allow others to abuse or manipulate them - stand up for their rights

Benefits of being assertive 1. Having greater awareness of own need and greater ability to meet them. 1. being able to great personal and professional 2. Develop your communication skills 3. Allow you to feel self-confident 4. Increase your self-esteem 5. Help you to gain the respect of others 6. Improve your decision-making ability 7. Feeling more confidant. 8. Being able to relax more.

Rights of assertivness • However, before you can comfortably express your needs, you must believe you have a legitimate right to have those needs. Keep in mind that you have the following rights: 1. The right to decide how to lead your life. This includes pursuing your own goals and dreams and establishing your own priorities. 2. The right to your own values, beliefs, opinions, and emotions -- and the right to respect yourself for them, no matter the opinion of others. 3. The right not to justify or explain your actions or feelings to others. 4. The right to tell others how you wish to be treated. 5. The right to express yourself and to say "No, " "I don't know, " "I don't understand, " or even "I don't care. " You have the right to take the time you need to formulate your ideas before expressing them

6. The right to ask for information or help -- without having negative feelings about your needs. 7. The right to change your mind, to make mistakes, and to sometimes act illogically -- with full understanding and acceptance of the consequences. 8. The right to like yourself even though you're not perfect, and to sometimes do less than you are capable of doing. 9. The right to have positive, satisfying relationships within which you feel comfortable and free to express yourself honestly -- and the right to change or end relationships if they don't meet your needs. 10. The right to change, enhance, or develop your life in any way you determine

How to Develope assertiveness skills ? ! • Some people are naturally more assertive than others. If your disposition tends more towards being either passive or aggressive, you need to work on the following skills. • Value yourself and your rights • Identify your needs and wants, and ask for them to be satisfied • Acknowledge that people are responsible for their own behavior • Express negative thoughts and feelings in a healthy and positive manner • Receive criticism and compliments positively • Learn to say "No" when you need to

• Value yourself and your rights • Understand that your rights, thoughts, feelings, needs and desires are just as important as everyone else's. • But remember they are not more important than anyone else's, either. • Recognise your rights and protect them. • Believe you deserve to be treated with respect and dignity at all times. • Stop apologizing for everything. • Identify your needs and wants, and ask for them to be satisfied • Don't wait for someone to recognize what you need (you might wait forever!) • Understand that to perform to your full potential, your needs must be met. • Find ways to get your needs met without sacrificing others' needs in the process.

• Acknowledge that people are responsible for their own behavior • Don't make the mistake of accepting responsibility for how people react to your assertive statements (e. g. anger, resentment). You can only control yourself. • As long as you are not violating someone else's needs, then you have the right to say or do what you want. • Express negative thoughts and feelings in a healthy and positive manner • Allow yourself to be angry, but always be respectful. • Do say what's on your mind, but do it in a way that protects the other person's feelings. • Control your emotions. • Stand up for yourself and confront people who challenge you and/or your rights

• • • Receive criticism and compliments positively Accept compliments graciously. Allow yourself to make mistakes and ask for help. Accept feedback positively – be prepared to say you don't agree but do not get defensive or angry. Learn to say "No" when you need to Know your limits and what will cause you to feel taken advantage of. Know that you can't do everything or please everyone and learn to be OK with that. Go with what is right for you. Suggest an alternative for a win-win solution.

Assertiveness techniques • I statements • Use "I want. ", "I need. " or "I feel. " to convey basic assertions. • Ex : I feel strongly that we need to bring in a third party to mediate this disagreement. • • • Empathy First, recognize how the other person views the situation: Ex : I understand you are having trouble working with Arlene. Then, express what you need: . . . however, this project needs to be completed by Friday. Let's all sit down and come up with a plan to get it done.

• Escalation This type of assertiveness is necessary when your first attempts are not successful in getting your needs met. The technique involves getting more and more firm as time goes on. It may end in you telling the person what you will do next if you do not receive satisfaction. Remember though, regardless of the consequences you give, you may not get what you want in the end. John, this is the third time this week I've had to speak to you about arriving late. If you are late one more time this month, I will activate the disciplinary process. • Ask for More Time • Sometimes, you just need to put off saying anything. You might be too emotional or you might really not know what you want. Be honest and tell the person you need a few minutes to compose your thoughts. • Dave, your request has caught me off guard. I'll get back to you within the half hour.

• • • Broken Record Prepare ahead of time the message you want to convey: I cannot take on any more projects right now. During the conversation, keep restating your message using the same language over and over again. Don't relent. Eventually the person is likely to realize that you really mean what you are saying. I would like you to work on the Clancy project. I cannot take on any more projects right now. I'll pay extra for you accommodating me. I cannot take on any more projects right now. Seriously, this is really important, my boss insists this gets done. I cannot take on any more projects right now. Will you do it as a personal favor? I'm sorry, I value our past relationship but I simply cannot take on any more projects right now.

• Scripting • This technique involves preparing your responses using a four-pronged approach that describes: • The event: tell the other person exactly how you see the situation or problem. Jacob, the production costs this month are 23% higher than average. You didn't give me any indication of this, which meant that I was completely surprised by the news. • Your feelings: describe how you feel about express your emotions clearly. This frustrates me and makes me feel like you don't understand or appreciate how important financial controls are in the company. • Your needs: tell the other person what you need so they don't have to guess. I need you to be honest with me and let me know when we start going significantly over budget on anything. • The consequences: describe the positive outcome if your needs are fulfilled. I'm here to help you and support you in any way I can. If you trust me, then together we can turn this around. • Once you are clear about what you want to say and express, it is much easier to actually do it.

summary • AGGRESSIVE is a style in which individuals express their feelings and opinions and advocate for their needs in a way that violates the rights of others • PASSIVE is a style in which individuals have developed a pattern of avoiding expressing their opinions or feelings, protecting their rights, and identifying and meeting their needs. • ASSERTIVE is a style in which individuals clearly state their opinions and feelings, and firmly advocate for their rights and needs without violating the rights of others.

Conclusion • As you learn to become more assertive, remember to use your assertive "skills" selectively. It is not just what you say to someone verbally, but also how you communicate nonverbally with voice tone, gestures, eye contact, facial expression and posture that will influence your impact on others. You must remember that it takes time and practice, as well as a willingness to accept yourself as you make mistakes, to reach the goal of acting assertively. As you practice your techniques, it is often helpful to have accepting relationships and a supportive environment. People who understand care about you are your strongest assets.

Article 1 • This study aimed to investigate the factors affecting assertiveness among student nurses. The study was carried out at Faculty of Nursing, Port-Said University, on 207 student nurses from four different grades. Rathus Assertiveness Schedule, consisted of 30 items, was used to measure the students' assertiveness level and a 12 -item scale developed by Spreitzer was used to measure students' psychological empowerment. The study results showed that 60. 4% of the students were assertive, while about half of the students were empowered. A positive relation between student assertiveness and psychological empowerment was detected. Moreover, positive relations regarding family income and students' assertiveness and psychological empowerment were determined. The study recommended introduction of specific courses aiming at enhancing the acquisition of assertiveness skills, in addition, nurse educators must motivate their students to express their opinion and personal rights and also they must pay attention for students' empowerment and enhance students' autonomy.

Rathus Assertiveness Schedule

Article 2

reference • http: //serenityonlinetherapy. com/assertiveness. h tm • https: //www. mindtools. com/pages/article/Asserti veness. htm • http: //static 1. 1. sqspcdn. com/static/f/598014/234 54255/1378416700810/All+Assertiveness+Hando uts. docx? token=Mek 83 c. Uq. YUZa. MXC 3 o. Bnlji. Q 02 Z 0 %3 D • Sciencedirect http: //www. sciencedirect. com