Arguing with People Arguing With People By Michael

Arguing with People Arguing With People By Michael A. Gilbert Professor of Philosophy York University Canada Broadview Press 2014

Arguing with People Part 2 All About Arguers

Familiars Arguing with People Ø We almost always argue with people we know. v Opening stage generally set ages ago. v If an unusual move, may return there. Ø Share a language. v Literally, as in English or Cantonese. v But also in the sense of slang, terminology, vocabulary and short cuts. © M. A. Gilbert 2014 3

Context Arguing with People Ø Defines many things: v Power relations v Word meaning v Context disambiguates meaning Ø Look here at the word ‘”dude” v Bud Light Dude Commercial © M. A. Gilbert 2014 4

Goals Arguing with People Ø Facts about goals: 1. 2. 3. Goals are always manifold. Most people are not fully aware of their goals. Goals are often confused with claims. Ø Goals are about: 1. 2. 3. What we want. Our relationships. Hidden or unknown feelings or desires. © M. A. Gilbert 2014 5

The Four Modes Arguing with People Ø The logical mode linear, patterned, deductive Ø The emotional mode feelings, attitudes, expressives Ø The visceral mode physical, situational, social Ø The kisceral mode intuitive, religious, mystical © M. A. Gilbert 2014 6

The Logical Mode Arguing with People Ø Component in virtually every argument. Most arguments can be reduced to a logical form but that is not “the” form of the argument: Translation is not proof of reduction. Ø Vastly studied and categorized. Easiest communicative mode to pin down and track. It is more rule-following than other modes. Ø Heart of the critical-logical model © M. A. Gilbert 2014 7

The Emotional Mode Arguing with People Ø Emotions are present in all human interactions. Often the most crucial element in our beliefs is how and why we believe in them. Ø Believing concerns more than just our minds. To persuade someone is to make them believe in both the correctness and rightness of a position. © M. A. Gilbert 2014 8

The Visceral Mode Arguing with People Ø Covers arguments that are primarily physical, where the actions or the physical or social context are the predominant features. The expression “Actions speak louder than words, ” acknowledges the importance of the visceral mode. © M. A. Gilbert 2014 9

The Kisceral Mode Arguing with People Ø The mode that relies on the intuitive, religious, imaginative, spiritual, and mystical. Derives from Japanese word ‘ki’ meaning “energy. ” v Used by many people for many arguments. v Everyone believes in something invisible, even if it’s just love or friendship. v © M. A. Gilbert 2014 10

Coalescence Arguing with People Ø Generally, we want arguments to end in agreement. v In an inquiry we want to agree we have the best answer. v In a negotiation we both want to feel we came out well. v In persuasion we want to be satisfied that we accept is good. © M. A. Gilbert 2014 11

Merging Arguing with People Ø Begin with agreement v Find a common point, goal or value. v Move forward until there is divergence. v Try and find commonality to merge the divergent views. v If there truly is none, then there is no hope. Ø It is almost always possible to find some agreement. © M. A. Gilbert 2014 12

Humans Arguing with People Ø Actions, expressions, body language all communicate your partner’s reality. v You know instantly if your romantic partner is upset. v We have to pay attention to far more than words. v This is deep listening. © M. A. Gilbert 2014 13

Audiences Arguing with People Ø All audiences share certain values and beliefs. v It may be an audience at work or school, home or pub. v You and your friends share certain values – that’s why you’re friends. v These form the beginning of avenues for agreement. © M. A. Gilbert 2014 14

Arguing with People Be Heuristic Ø Being heuristic means having an open and listening attitude. v If you are heuristic, being positive and agreement, then, seeking • You may be met with aggression. • But you are more likely to be met with support. v If you are being eristic, i. e. , aggressive, you will always be met with aggression. © M. A. Gilbert 2014 15

Argumentativeness Arguing with People Ø People have traits that social psychologists can measure. v One is “argumentativeness. ” v Just how much is one attracted to arguing? v How much does one avoid confrontation of ideas? v This is your degree of argumentativeness. © M. A. Gilbert 2014 16

Aggressivity Arguing with People Ø Some people avoid aggression while others do not mind it. v Reasons for this may be personal or cultural. Ø The combination of argumentativeness and aggressivity can be important in how someone approaches argument. Ø You need to pay attention to how your partner approaches or avoids argument. © M. A. Gilbert 2014 17

TFD Arguing with People Ø TFD = tolerance for disagreement v Most people can handle a degree of disagreement v Those who can’t have a low TFD – they hate being disagreed with. v Low TFDs take argument as a personal attack. Ø The best arguers are those with a high level for argumentativeness and a high TFD. Ø Pay attention to you partners! © M. A. Gilbert 2014 18

Gender & Argument Arguing with People Ø Women express but do not feel more emotions. v Men are only “allowed” to express anger. v We play the roles we are expected to play. v We see what is there through those lenses. • Aggressive men are confident. • Aggressive women are bossy. © M. A. Gilbert 2014 19

Gender as culture Arguing with People Ø We are acculturated to communicate in different ways. v Women have different communicative values: • Narrative, i. e. . , story, is more important. • Listening and sympathizing is more important than problem solving. • Sharing and concern for community is paramount. (These are grand generalizations, so be careful. ) © M. A. Gilbert 2014 20