Anger About Anger Anyone can become angry that

Anger

About Anger “Anyone can become angry, that is easy. . . But to be angry with the right person, to the right degree, at the right time, for the right purpose, and the right way. . . this is not easy. ” Aristotle

What We Know Anger: • • • it is normal it is experienced by everyone it is not something you outgrow it is a powerful feeling, but one you can learn to manage it is not the same thing as aggression, which is behavior (such as hitting someone) that may result in serious consequences if you cannot control your anger

The positive aspects of anger are: you have increased energy, are able to communicate your feelings, able to problem solve, and can take charge of the situation.

The negative aspects of anger are: l Acting out our anger (e. g. yelling, hitting, throwing objects, driving too fast), or hurting others is not a healthy, or necessary expression of anger. When we act our anger we; damage other’s trust in us; create a burden of shame that we then carry; pass on our problems to others; destroy intimacy; alter our potential in society and relationships.

Basic Needs Model Many people become angry when their needs are not being met

The Four I’s l l Injustice. A rule of conduct, a cherished belief or instrumental goal is being threatened or abused; you see yourself or others as a victim of an injustice, unfairness or disloyalty. Injury. You feel disrespected, discarded or ignored; there's a sense of insult and humiliation along with injury -- often psychological, at times also physical. l l Invasion. Your freedom, autonomy, boundary and personal space are perceived to be constricted, disrupted or violated; your identity, body and/or integrity are being threatened or attacked. Intention. There is an energy and determination to do something about the above injustices, injuries and invasions; you are ready - reflexively and/or purposefully - to challenge the status quo.

Effects of Anger Health Issues § § . Inability to control anger doubles risk of heart attack. Trembling or shaky hands, sweaty clammy hands, rapid breathing, reddening of the skin, restlessness or agitation, jumpiness or exaggerated startle reactions, feeling hyperaroused, glaring, headaches, ringing in the ears, migraine, loss of appetite and frequent colds. Crime § Most serious crimes are committed by those who can’t control their anger Teaching and Learning l Students who display extreme levels of aggression are more likely to: l require higher levels of mental health intervention l have higher rates of school drop out l demonstrate lower levels of academic achievement and

Physiologic Signs of Anger DIRECT SIGNS OF ANGER: INDIRECT SIGNS OF ANGER: RAISED VOICE YELLING, CURSING HEADACHES STOMACHACHES INCREASED HEART RATE RAISED BLOOD PRESSURE CLENCHED FISTS RED FACE TIGHTNESS IN THROAT/CHEST VERBAL/PHYSICAL ABUSE CHRONIC FATIGUE EXCESSIVE SLEEPING ANXIETY DEPRESSION CRYING MEAN OR HOSTILE JOKING DRUG AND ALCOHOL USE APPETITE CHANGES INCREASED ILLNESSES HEADACHE MUSCLE ACHES

Long Term Health Effects Anger is an intense emotion that produces an adrenaline rush. If an individual is chronically angry or has frequent bouts of anger, adrenaline is released often. This constant rise of adrenaline results in a physiologic stress that decreases your immune system’s ability to ward off infections. It creates both mental and physical fatigue and leads to….

Heart Disease Cancer It aggravates diabetes Depression Anxiety Disorders Ulcers Frequent viral illnesses and infections Affects Asthma symptoms and Arthritis symptoms

Anger’s Warning Signals (body) Breathing fast Sweating or feeling chilled Backache, headache, stomachache Muscles tensing Shaking, trembling Clenching fist Grinding teeth/tense jaw Rapid heart beat

Anger’s Warning Signals (behavior) Yelling, shouting Silent treatment Laughing at things hurtful Sarcasm Insulting Profanity Striking things/ people/ animals Breaking things Hurting yourself

From Silence To Violence (looking for anger’s middle ground) SILENCE: passive: denying needs, stuffing feelings, saving it up for a blow up. MODERATION: assertive: saying how you feel, asking for what you want, telling others what you need VIOLENCE: aggressive: threats, attacks, fights, destruction.

The Four Faces of Anger Constructive Purposeful Spontaneous Box 1 Purposeful and Constructive Anger Destructive Box 2 Purposeful and Destructive Anger Box 3 Box 4 Spontaneous and Constructive Destructive Anger

Anger Styles Stuffers Withdrawers Blamers Trianglers Exploders Problem Solvers

Types of Anger 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. Chronic anger -- ongoing resentment toward others and life in general Volatile anger -- comes and goes, builds to rage, explodes as physical or verbal aggression Judgmental anger -- critical statements are made which belittle, shame, or correct others, done with disdain Passive anger -- expressed indirectly through sarcasm, or being late, or avoiding a situation Overwhelmed anger -- arises when people can't handle their life circumstances, and lash out to relieve stress or pain Retaliatory anger -- directed to a person to get back at them for something that they did or said Self-inflicted anger -- may result in hurting oneself emotionally or physically -- negative self-talk, starvation, eating or drinking to excess Constructive anger -- using anger to make some positive difference, such as becoming involved in a cause or movement for positive change

Dimensions of Anger There are five inter-related dimensions all operating simultaneously in any angry situation: l l l cognition- our present thoughts emotion- the physiological arousal that anger produces communication - the way we display our anger affect - the way that we experience life when we are angry behavior - the way we behave when we are angry

Anger Management Skills needed in dealing with your anger: 1. Identify a range of feelings including anger 2. Identify aggressive acts by self and others 3. Identify the potential consequences to self and others from these aggressive acts 4. Identify self-destructive behavior 5. 6. 7. 8. Identify thoughts prior to aggressive acts Identify internal cues to feelings of anger Develop coping mechanisms for dealing with anger Express anger without loss of control

Dealing with Anger Vent Cool Down Think Act

Body Language 1. Kinesics (Body Movement) – Face, smile, eye contact, the way one walks, arm and hand gestures, position of shoulders. 2. Proximity (Space) – Closeness between people 3. Haptics – (Touch) – Hand shake, hand on shoulder or head, pat top of the head, poke finger in chest, slap on the back 4. Vocalic –(Paralinguistics) Not what you say but how you say it. Space between words, tone of voice, how fast one speaks, accent, inflection. 5. Cronenic - (Time) Wait time ( longer – more important) 6. Artifact (Vestments of culture) Clothes, colors we wear, how we fix our hair, make-up or lack of it. 7. Environmental – (Status) Office, desk, pictures, way furniture is arranged.

Hands – Reveal emotional stablility and innermost feelings. We use hands to stop people from encroaching on our territory. Hands show our impatience, our frustration, and degree of security. Hands tell others a lot about our confidence and our enthusiasm for the topic we are discussing. Position of Legs – communicate how individual feels about the conversation and others entering into the discussion. Crossing and uncrossing of the legs, the tapping of the feet are silent methods of communication. Crossing the legs may mean a person is embarrassed or is late for another appointment, yet is reluctant to tell you. Nervous squirming of the individual in their seats, tapping of pencils, fingers, or feet can frequently mean they have lost interest in you and the subject.