An Unexpected Event By Laura Foltz The ideal

An Unexpected Event By: Laura Foltz

The “ideal” nuclear family

Background of My Interviewee Childhood Adulthood 1 older sister Daughter and Son Mennonite Non-Denominational Protestant Family dinner with extended family every Sunday Family dinner with nuclear family every night

The Sudden and Unexpected Death of a Child -Fatally injured in a farming accident -Families have to find ways to cope -There are negative and positive experiences in the coping process

“It was like a disease” -Avoidance of the deceased child or event itself from other people -Isolation -Parker and Dunn’s study found that avoidance from others was a negative coping experience for mothers

Positive Remembrances -My interviewee enjoyed telling me stories about her son as a child -Found to be a positive coping mechanism theme in Parker and Dunn’s interviews

Anger At God -”I didn’t cope well. ” -Spiritual Struggle -Intraindividual Forgiveness -Kübler-Ross Model: Denial, Anger, Depression, Bargaining, and Acceptance

Faith in God -”His death was not in vain- people can see I lean on God for support. ” - Prayer and having faith in God kept the mother's feeling connected to their child and gave them hope that they will see their child again -Going to church again was just what she needed

Effects on Marriage -Strain on my interviewee’s relationship -Relationship Resilience: feeling safe, secure, and protected, being able to relate to each other's pain, and being able to reorganize the relationship to move forward with each other (Essakow, 2013, p. 304 -306).

What got her through it? 1. Reassurance 2. “I know how you feel, I watched my son die too. ” 3. Her grandchildren

What I learned and how it relates to the Human Services Field: ● Don’t treat somebody's loss like they have a contagious disease. ● If a person is religious, keeping faith can be vital ● Marriages may be hard initially, but if the couple can move forward together, they will become stronger. ● Everyone’s story will be different, but experiencing the death of a child is not easy and being able to cope in positive ways may take time.

References Essakow, K. L. , & Miller, M. M. (2013). Piecing together the shattered heirloom: parents' experiences of relationship resilience after the violent death of a child. The American Journal of Family Therapy, 41(4), 299 -310. Retrieved from http: //web. b. ebscohost. com. ezaccess. libraries. psu. edu/ Parker, B. S. , & Dunn, K. S. (2011). The continued lived Experience of the unexpected death of a child. OMEGA - Journal of Death and Dying, 63(3), 221 -233. Retrieved from http: //web. b. ebscohost. com. ezaccess. libraries. psu. edu/ehost/command/detail? sid=82 46401 -1 c 47 -4 e 35 -bb 62 -ceb 46 f 2 a 8303%40 sessionmgr 102&vid=29&hid=118 Webb, M. (2014). “Forgiving” God: reflections on psychological research describing spiritual struggle. Theology Today, 71(3), 337 -346. Retrieved from http: //web. a. ebscohost. com/ehost/pdfviewer? sid=561993 d 8 -ddae-4 f 5 c b 4 bf-a 8403 de 2 c 7 de%40 sessionmgr 4010&vid=10&hid=4207