Ambitious Vocabulary Convincing DO NOW What do these

Ambitious Vocabulary Convincing DO NOW: What do these words mean and why are they important? Compelling MWB Extensive Language

CONVINCING COMPELLING AMBITIOUS VOCABULARY EXTENSIVE LANGUAGE Feels like it’s real, although it may be fictional because of the amount of description and detail. The reader is kept interested in the writing because it is exciting and gripping. Using high level and sophisticated words to create effects in writing. Using extended and detailed descriptions and crafting of techniques to achieve specific effects? I saw a ghost, I was so scared. I walked into the forest and got lost. The stones were scattered across the overgrown grass. It was cold outside that night. Re-write this, to make it more convincing. Re-write this, to make it more compelling. Re-write this, to make it more ambitious. Re-write this, to make it more extensive.

Rachel Wood Learning Officer Saltaire Stories is the education programme of SWHEA: Saltaire World Heritage Education Association, charity no. 115756 Only to be used for educational purposes.

GCSE English Language Paper 1 Q 5 Learning intention: To use real archival sources as a prompt to extend and organise creative writing to make it more compelling, convincing and ambitious. Assessment Objectives ● AO 5: Communicate clearly, effectively and imaginatively, selecting and adapting tone, style and register for different forms, purposes and audiences. Organise information and ideas, using structural and grammatical features to support coherence and cohesion of texts ● AO 6: Use a range of vocabulary and sentence structures for clarity, purpose and effect, with accurate spelling and punctuation.

1) On the sheet, match up the camera shots & angles to their definitions. 2) Watch the introduction of ‘Psycho’. 3) What tone is created? 4) Order the camera shots and angles that are used in the beginning of the film. What is the effect of this structure?

CHALLENGE: Psycho has music playing which helps to create a specific tone. Which language techniques can you use, to create sounds in writing to have a similar effect?

There is a story behind every picture… What could the story behind this one, be? Your story has to capture the reader in the same way as the beginning of a film does to a viewer.

YOU NEED to: T. Type = narrative - make your narrative convincing and compelling. Audience = general P. Purpose = to entertain - use extensive and ambitious vocabulary. - craft your sentences using detail, language techniques, whole text structural and grammatical structures. - Write in linked paragraphs - Use a range of accurate punctuation. Your school wants you to enter a creative writing competition. Write a narrative suggested by your picture.

Panning shot Long shot Medium shot Low-angle shot Close-up TASK: Use either template to complete your own planning Extreme closeup

Paragraph 1 - Paragraph 2 Paragraph 3 Paragraph 4 Paragraph 5 Panning shot Long shot Medium shot Close up/ Low angle Close up Extreme close-up Describe the wider setting Describe the setting (add detail). - What is the building like? - Describe the architecture, its size, the windows, the gardens… - What is the stone like? Are there any colours? Describe a character - Imagine a character/s – where are they? - What do they look like? - What are they doing? - Show their personality – don’t tell! Next your character will do something. Could be a flashback/ flashforward/ something they are doing or even thinking about in the present. Keep focus on your character or you can switch to setting but something changes in this paragraph. Add detail. You could change the tone. Something is revealed to leave the reader in shock or surprise/ you can end on a cliffhanger/ you can link back to the beginning so you have a cyclical structure. What is around the building? What is the weather like? What is the sky like? Create your tone (scary, sad, thrilling, romantic) Use pathetic fallacy.

Paragraph 1 - Panning shot Describe the wider setting opulent or grandiose? What is around the building? What is the weather like? Use pathetic fallacy What is the sky like? Create your tone. Spring or Winter? overlooks the valley or imposes on the valley? lavish mansion or dilapidated? chirping birds or squawking birds? idyllic countryside setting or secluded? dense/ well looked after gardens or wild? azure sky or gloomy and overcast sky? A photograph

Paragraph 1 - Long shot Describe the setting Add detail. What is the building like? Describe the architecture, its size, the windows, the gardens… What is the stone like? Are there any colours? Intricate architecture – Gothic? Imposing or grand? Needle-like steeples or church like? Yorkshire stone – strong or crumbling? Small curved windows – delicate or restrictive? Conservatory – glass roof – sun shines in or smashed?

Paragraph 2 - Medium shot Describe a character well groomed Imagine a character/s – where are they? What do they look like? What are they doing? Show their personality – don’t tell! wealthy educated optimistic/ reflective? responsible? vacant/ daydreaming or lost? a couple/ distant from each other? Innocent or mischievous? happy/ false? A married woman? A business man Playing in nature Well looked after? middle/ upper class? wealthy?

Paragraph 3 - Close up/ Low angle shot Next your character will do something. Could be a flashback/ flashforward/ something they are doing or even thinking about in the present. Could be looking at something from a different perspective. intimidating gateposts Present day - have lasted time and weather gateway to hell Flash-forward to present – walking into grounds darkness rustling trees – creates giant, moving shadows creaking rusted gate – sharp points – to keep people out.

Paragraph 4 - Close-up Keep focus on your character or you can switch to setting but something changes in this paragraph. Add detail. You could change the tone. twigs snapping crunch of my footsteps remnants of walls dilapidated leaves rustling creepy torch light thick undergrowth crumbling startling hidden wildlife

Paragraph 5 - Extreme Close-up Zoom in further Something is revealed to leave the reader in shock or surprise you can end on a cliffhanger you can link back to the beginning so you have a cyclical structure. a chill through my bones like a grave mosaic tiles scattered leaves where others had died dark exact spot on my own ruins torch

A photograph. It had once been a lavish mansion. On days when there was an azure sky and bright sunshine, it could have looked just like a postcard or an advertisement for a grand hotel. Situated in an idyllic and secluded setting of trees and sage country side, the elaborate building with its squawking birds surrounding it, overlooked the Aire – although only a mile away, it had been built to be far away from the noise, the smoke and the hustle and bustle of the mills. No expense had been spared; everything about the intricate architecture, the maintained gardens, the thick stone, the squared mosaic tiles, was opulent. Needle like steeples coming from turrets along the roof added to its great height. The ribbed vault and its flying buttresses oozed wealth and royal blood. It imposed over the simple green grass and rich wooded areas, which encircled it. Transfixed by its beauty, I could not understand how the fortune that had been spent building this house had not translated into good fortunes for the families that lived in it – far from it. On the 19 th November 1887, only a small beam of light was able to enter the room on the west wing; partly because the pointed arch windows were so small (some with stained glass) but also because on that afternoon, an overcast sky had forced dusk to arrive early. Icy gusts rattled the chimney and created a draught and a rhythm that one could almost imagine the dust dancing off the mantle piece to its own melancholic song. At the relatively young age of 44, the owner of the house; the man who was thought to have it all; was found unconscious - still in his wool suit, his beard newly trimmed - slumped in the billiard room and pronounced dead before a doctor could arrive. Stiff and hard to move, rigor mortis had already set in. Perhaps, he was lucky as he did not see what happened next or the years after that… The next family moved in. Unsurprisingly, the house had been a bargain. One son drowned, one died of pneumonia and shortly after, one son died of a nervous illness. The only surviving son was then badly injured in the First World War and could no longer work. The second resident family, once very reputable, was then caught up in a scandal when their married daughter’s lover was brutally murdered by her husband. Sold again, to new occupants, pneumonia and septicaemia soon killed them off and the final ever resident of the lavish mansion basically hiccupped himself to death. The house could unsurprisingly not sell after that.

Working for one of the leading and most prestigious Estate agents for Yorkshire, it was my job to sell the land. A tidy piece of commission could also be made on it. Around the decay of the partly demolished colossal wreck, the South and West Lodges at either end of the grand driveway were still occupied but most people who walked along this muddy dirt track did not even realise that the ruins of this supposedly cursed house, lay within the woods through which they often travelled. This was to my benefit; it was prime location for another lavish mansion. The plot was immense. Straight from work, armed with the best camera that I could find in the office and still wearing my suit from work (a very hip light brown woollen tweed), I continued towards the entrance. Dusk was just beginning and the sky would give an amazing backdrop, if I timed it just right. Dark and intimidating, the imposing gateway at the West Lodge, with the glowing street lights behind, looked spectacular. Unfortunately, the sky had become slightly overcast and darkness had crept in quickly but I just needed one more photograph and I was sure that the light would be better out of the dense trees. Quickening my pace and armed with the single torch of my phone, I headed down the track and deeper into the woods. On either side of the track however, thick undergrowth obscured any view my light was able to give. Along with the crunch of my footsteps, I could clearly hear wings flapping, leaves rustling, and twigs snapping as I disturbed the hidden wildlife. Any warmth from the sun had gone. As I neared the remnants of walls, I could see clearly that they were indeed of the ancient cursed mansion, all broken-down and crumbling, lying about in the wild green grass. Startling a nesting bird, it rose up and away over my head with loudly beating wings and a harsh croaking cry that echoed around the dilapidated house and was taken up by another and then another, some distance away. As I walked further away from the gateposts, I tripped over a stone border which proved to be the edge of the once grand conservatory. Remarkably, after all these years, the mosaic tiles were still in place. I could now get my bearings from the floor plan that I had found with the deeds. I stood for a minute, stroking my newly trimmed beard, contemplating the lavish mansion that could be built and the planning permission that would be needed. Moving across the conservatory floor and into the orangery, I knew which room was to my left – the billiard room. Standing in the exact spot, sent a chill though my bones and the reality of where I was suddenly hit me – on my own, in dark dense woodland, in the ruins of a house where all the residents had met an early or grave end.

Feedback What did you think about the response? Do you believe that it was convincing, compelling and included ambitious vocabulary and extensive language? What would you give it as successes and Next steps?

35 mins Language techniques metaphor simile personification pathetic fallacy onomatopoeia alliteration sibilance contrast use of the senses anaphora oxymoron juxtaposition sensory language Structural techniques foreshadowing introduction of setting/ character rhetorical question semantic field juxtaposition flashbacks/ flash forwards cyclical structure/ cliff hanger dialogue chronological/ nonchronological TASK: Write a narrative suggested by your picture. What to do: 1 Make a checklist of the things that you need to remember – sentence types/ language features/ structural features and sentence openings. 30 secs 2 Read the task and underline the key words. 30 secs 3 Plan your writing. 6 mins 4 Write your Q 5 response (remember to use paragraphs) 35 mins 5 Read through your response and edit. 3 mins 45 marks 45 mins Sentence starts 1. adverb beginning 2. verb beginning 3. prepositional start 4. conjunctions 5. double adjective start 6. triple noun colon 7. more 8 simile start Sentence types 1. Sentence fragment 2. Independent clause 3. Independent clause + conjunction + independent clause 4. Independent clause + semi colon + independent clause 5. Dependent clause followed by an independent clause 6. An independent clause followed by a