Against Domestic Violence Domestic violence Domestic violence can

Against Domestic Violence

Domestic violence • Domestic violence can be defined as a pattern of behavior in any relationship that is used to gain or maintain power and control over an intimate partner. • Abuse is physical, sexual, emotional, economic or psychological actions or threats of actions that influence another person. This includes any behaviors that frighten, intimidate, terrorize, manipulate, hurt, humiliate, blame, injure or wound someone. • Thehotline. org

Types of domestic violence Physical Abuse is the use of physical force against another person in a way that ends up injuring the person, or puts the person at risk of being injured. • Does your partner push, hit or choke you? • Does your partner threaten to hurt you with a weapon. Emotional Abuse can be verbal or nonverbal. • Does your partner make all decisions for you? • Does your partner continually criticize you, call you names? Sexual Abuse is often linked to physical abuse; they may occur together, or the sexual abuse may occur after a bout of physical abuse • Does your partner minimize the importance of your feelings about sex? • Does your partner force particular unwanted sex acts? www. weaveinc. org

Statistics • In 2008, 14. 2% of Utah women (ages 18 and older) reported that an intimate partner had ever hit, slapped, pushed, kicked, or hurt them in any way (2) • In Utah, women experienced 169, 156 intimate partner-related physical assaults and rapes each year (2). • Nationally, each year, women experience about 4. 8 million intimate partner related physical assaults and rapes (3). • 39% of Utah women reporting IPV said the perpetrator was their husband or male live-in partner. 27% said the perpetrator was a former husband or former male live-in partner and 25. 7% said the abuser was a former boyfriend (2). • In Utah, divorce or separated women report the highest percentage of IPV (42. 1%) (2). • Nationally, the estimated costs of IPV exceed $5. 8 billion each year. This includes costs of medical care, mental health services, and lost productivity (4). • There is approximately one intimate partner-related homicide every 33 days in Utah (5). • 44% of intimate partner-related homicide victims were killed by a spouse (5). • 147 Utah children were directly exposed to an intimate partner-related homicide from 2003 -2008 and 78% of these children were under six years of age (5). • There is approximately one domestic violence-related homicide each month in Utah (5). • One out of three adult homicides are domestic violence homicides. • One-third of domestic violence perpetrators committed suicide after committing the homicide (5). • There approximately 3 domestic violence-related suicides every month in Utah (5). • Almost 12% of adult suicides are domestic violent related (5). www. health. utah. gov

Signs of violence • • • • • • • Do you: feel afraid of your partner much of the time? avoid certain topics out of fear of angering your partner? feel that you can’t do anything right for your partner? believe that you deserve to be hurt or mistreated? wonder if you’re the one who is crazy? feel emotionally numb or helpless? Does your partner: humiliate or yell at you? criticize you and put you down? treat you so badly that you’re embarrassed for your friends or family to see? ignore or put down your opinions or accomplishments? blame you for his own abusive behavior? see you as property or a sex object, rather than as a person? Your Partner’s Violent Behavior or Threats Your Partner’s Controlling Behavior Does your partner: have a bad and unpredictable temper? hurt you, or threaten to hurt or kill you? threaten to take your children away or harm them? threaten to commit suicide if you leave? force you to have sex? destroy your belongings? Does your partner: act excessively jealous and possessive? control where you go or what you do? keep you from seeing your friends or family? limit your access to money, the phone, or the car? constantly check up on you?

Cycle of violence

Reasons why people don’t leave abuse relationships • • • • Fear Children Money Law enforcement will blame him/her Person is blamed by others Partner promised to never do it again Partner says “I love you” Partner says, “I’ll kill you if you leave Fear of loosing custody of the children The person will become homeless She is afraid of the unknown Person feels there is no help Partner found the person before

Safety Plan • Always have some money hidden to be used for later emergencies. Put away a few dollars each paycheck. • Have extra keys made for the car and the house, and keep them hidden. Make sure you put them in a safe place so you can get to them in a hurry if you need them. • Have the following items ready in case you need to move out quickly: bank accounts, insurance policies, marriage license, drivers license, Social Security Numbers (for all family members), birth certificates, and valuable jewelry. Have clothing and documents hidden in one central place (like the garage or closet in an overnight bag) so they are ready and easy to get to when you need them. • Have a small bag of clothing for yourself and your children in case you need to stay with a friend or at a safe-house overnight. • Before the abuse happens again, notify a neighbor to be alert to strange noises and to call the police in case you can't. • Figure out what the abuser's pattern of behavior is during the violent stage so that you can be prepared to protect yourself next time, or so you can take action to leave the situation.

Safety plan • Get rid of weapons in the house before the violence occurs again. • Consider first the safety of yourself and your children in deciding how to best work out this problem. The abuser may have to prove that he or she has made changes and is willing to go to counseling. Don't rely on promises alone. Promises are sometimes used to get the family back together, but the abuser really doesn't want to change anything. • Above all, don't hesitate to call the police. There are recent laws in place to assist victims of domestic violence, and you may need the protection.

Where to get help? ? • • • • Family Justice center 801 -236 -3370 General information referral 2 -1 -1 Salt Lake County Shelters South Valley Sanctuary 801 -255 -1095 YWCA Women in Jeopardy 801 -537 -8600 SLC Police and Victim Advocates 801 -799 -3756 Crime Victims Reparations 801 -238 -2360 Emergency Housing/food/Clothing; The Road Home 801 -359 -4142 Rescue Mission 801355 -1302 LDS Welfare Square 801 -240 -7340 Salt Lake Community Action program 801 -359 -2444 Crossroads- Food Pantry 801 -364 -7765

Sources • www. health. utah. gov • www. helpguide. com • www. athealth. com • www. vinelink. com • www. ywca. org