Adult Journey Class Sunday Mornings 9 15 Fellowship

Adult Journey Class Sunday Mornings 9: 15 Fellowship Hall 5 weeks Ending May 15 th Dr. Brad Olson Psy. D. , M. Div. Adult Journey Sunday School Class

Sunday Series May 1 15

Church Yard Work Day Sat. May 14 th Right after Iron Men, 8: 45 am Great Group Activity Spreading 10 yds of Mulch Need wheel barrels Contact: R. A.

New Thrive Women’s Series Fervent Prayer Thurs. 7 pm Fri. 9 am

New Iron Men Series May 7 th-June 11 th Assertive living building healthy relationship

An Iron Men Event Thursday May 19 th 7 pm Lincolnshire Theatre $11 (~30% saving) Free Wild at Heart book Please See R. A. for Tickets

w o N p U n g i S ! ! ! $170 Fri. July 8 th – Sun. July 10 th Rafting Repelling & Rock Climbing Hiking

SHARE MARRIAGE LEARNING IN CONNECT SMALL GROUP

Connect to a Small Group

I. FUN FACTS A. Fun is Defined By You – Not what others think

I. FUN FACTS B. C. D. E. Fun is a Requirement – Not a Luxury Fun Helps Define a Marriage Fun is often the 1 st to go in a Marriage It’s the Man’s Fault

I. FUN FACTS “No Fun” defies the very reason(s) we marry (companionship & intimacy) Want to fall in love again? (we don’t fall in love being bored or not having a good time) If you’re not having fun in your marriage… maybe you’re not being a fun person!

GROUNDHOG DAY MARRIAGE What is the goal? Be like your spouse? Or, Join his/her world?

II. GOD WANTS US TO HAVE FUN … EVEN IN OUR MARRIAGES Ecc. 9: 9; 2: 24; 3: 1, 4; • He delights in our pleasure • Fun is the color in a black and white “Enjoymarriage life with your wife, whom you love, all the days of this meaningless life that God has given you under the sun—all your meaningless days. For this is your lot in life and in your toilsome labor under the sun. ” Ecclesiastes 9: 9 NIV “Live happily with the woman you love through all the meaningless days of life that God has given you under the sun. The wife God gives you is your reward for all your earthly toil. ” Ecclesiastes 9: 9 NLT

II. GOD WANTS US TO HAVE FUN … EVEN IN OUR MARRIAGES Ecc. 9: 9; 2: 24; 3: 1, 4; Relationship Research Says the Same! God Has a Sense of Humor

The Problem Is… We are Different

III. BUILD FUN INTENTIONALLY A note to guys: be intentional about building happiness together because she is God’s reward in your life A. Face-to-Face Fun 1) Talking… Face-to-Face 2) Use Words 3) Men Want Headlines- Women Want Detail 4) Articulate Feelings: vulnerable = real

III. BUILD FUN INTENTIONALLY 1) Date Night o A “sacred cow” o Weekly- regularly o With rules o Create options/ideas

III. BUILD FUN INTENTIONALLY The Magic Five 1. Partings: learn one thing about spouse’s day. 2. Reunions: have a stress-reducing conversation at end of the day. 3. Admiration/appreciation: give/say genuine admiration or appreciation toward your spouse each day. 4. Affection: kiss, grab, hold and touch during time together. Make sure to kiss each other before going to sleep. Think of kiss as way to let go of any minor irritations that have built up over the day. 5. Weekly date: relaxing, low-pressure way to stay connected. Ask each other questions that let you update each other’s love maps.

III. BUILD FUN INTENTIONALLY B. Side-to-Side Fun (Song of Sol. 7: 11) 1) Experience activity together- hang together with your friend- doing something you enjoy 2) Side-to-Side fun means as much to men as Face-to-Face fun means to women 3) Men feel valued in Side-to-Side fun (experiences bond men) 4) Join each other’s world – not doing so is selfish and short-sighted

GROUNDHOG DAY MARRIAGE Note To Women: Want Him to Talk? He is more likely to do so • When he is doing something he enjoys • After he’s done something he enjoys with you

FEWER THINGS HIGHLIGHT DIFFERENCES MORE THAN…

The Problem Is… We are Different

The Problem Is… We are Different

III. BUILD FUN INTENTIONALLY C. Sexy Fun- Romance and Intimacy (Prov. 5: 18 -19; Sol. 7: 1012) 1) God Made it For Pleasure • Can be glue • Often a barometer • Key ingredient to marriage 2) Feelings Follow Behaviors/Behaviors Follow Feelings (men vs. women)

III. BUILD FUN INTENTIONALLY C. Sexy Fun- Romance and Intimacy (Prov. 5: 18 -19; Sol. 7: 1012) 3) Note to Men: • Approach Matters • Tenderness Works • Aggressive Nudity Does NOT Work • Everything is NOT Sexual • Sex Begins in the Morning • Your “Chances” Increase with Listening, Romance, Talking, Vulnerability

III. BUILD FUN INTENTIONALLY C. Sexy Fun- Romance and Intimacy (Prov. 5: 18 -19; Sol. 7: 1012) 4) Note to Women: • Make an Approach… ANY Approach • If You want Romance- Try Some Yourself • No Sex is a Crisis for Men – It’s the Same as No Emotional Intimacy for You)

III. BUILD FUN INTENTIONALLY C. Sexy Fun- Romance and Intimacy (Prov. 5: 18 -19; Sol. 7: 1012) 5) God Given Freedom for Us: • Sex is Spiritual- reaffirming of Covenant of marriage every time you do it • Protection of the Marriage: you are each other’s only God Honoring option • Sex in Marriage is God-Honoring and Blessed • Intended for Pleasure • Private

III. BUILD FUN INTENTIONALLY C. Sexy Fun- Romance and Intimacy (Prov. 5: 18 -19; Sol. 7: 1012) 6) Fun When it’s… • Mutual • Serving (not Selfish) • Practiced • Discussed • Respectful • Planned • Adjusted

GROUND HOG DAY MARRIAGE If you want what you once had- start doing what you once did (you talked, played, laughed, held hands & and kissed)

If you want what you once had, start doing what you once did