- Slides: 26
Achieving a Successful married Life based on Quran and Hadith Kaushar Tai Director - Aksaa
Learning Outcomes: By the end of the session, you will learn: • How to strive to achieve a happy married life • How to please Allah SWT in your dealings with your spouse • Strategies to please your wife/Strategies to please your husband • Your duties as a spouse in the sight of Allah SWT • Tips on improving your relationship with your Mother-in-Law
Today is about a Reminder • “And remind, for indeed, the reminder benefits the believers” Quran 51: 55 • This session is a reminder for myself - first and foremost. • May Allah SWT give us the tawfiq to put into practice what we will learn today Aksaa
Allah has put tranquillity, love and mercy through marriage "Among His signs is the fact that he has created spouses from among yourselves, so that you may find tranquility with them; and he has put love and mercy between you. In that are signs for people who reflect. " [Qur’an 30: 21]
Garment to Each Other "They (your wives) are your garment and you are a garment for them" (Quran 2: 187) • This verse reveals the basic purpose and concept of marriage in Islam. • Islam enjoins that a wife and husband should have the most intimate and loving relationship. • Each should cover, protect, and safeguard the interests of the other.
The bonding in Marriage The Prophet phuh said: “No house has been built in Islam more beloved in the sight of Allah than through marriage. ”
Marriage is half of faith The Prophet pbuh said: “One who marries, has already guarded half of his religion, therefore he should fear Allah for the other half. ”
Creation from a single being “O people! be careful of (your duty to) your Lord, Who created you from a single being and created its mate of the same (kind) and spread from these two, many men and women; and be careful of (your duty to) Allah, by Whom you demand one of another (your rights), and (to) the ties of relationship; surely Allah ever watches over you. ” Quran: 4: 1
Marriage – Loved by Allah The Messenger of Allah pbuh said: "There is no foundation that has been built in Islam more loved by Allah, than marriage. "
Beware of the Shaitan Jabir reported: The Messenger of Allah, pbuh said, “Verily, Satan places his throne over the water and he sends out his troops. The closest to him in rank are the greatest at causing tribulations. One of them says: I have done this and this. Satan says: You have done nothing. Another one says: I did not leave this man alone until I separated him from his wife. Satan embraces him and he says: You have done well. ” (Muslim)
About Divorce The Prophet pbuh said: "The most hateful of all lawful things, in the sight of Allah, is divorce. “ Abu Daud
Choice given by Allah SWT to the wives of the Prophet "O Prophet, say to your wives: If you desire but the life of this world and it’s charms, then come and I will bestow it’s goods upon you, I will release you with a fair release. But if you desire Allah and his messenger and the abode of the hereafter, then verily Allah has prepared for the doers of good among you a great reward. " [Qur’an 33: 28 -29] Aisha ra and the other wives chose Allah and His Messenger
Lying to resolve conflict • Umm Kalthoom said that she heard the Prophet (pbuh) say: “He is not a liar who reconciles between people, conveying good messages and saying good things. ” Bukhaari, Muslim • She also said: “I did not hear him pbuh grant any concession concerning anything that the people say of lies except in three cases: reconciling between people, war, and what a man says to his wife, or a woman says to her husband. (Muslim)
Be Grateful to Allah • Don’t be jealous of those who are living a more luxurious life than your family. • The “rizq” sustenance, is from Allah (SWT). • Be content to what Allah has given you. • Look at those people who have less than you, not those who have more. • Thank Allah (SWT) for the many blessings in your life.
Be patient Allah says, “Only those who are patient shall receive their reward in full without reckoning (or measure). ” (Qur’an 39: 10)
When entering your home • ahl ibn Sa’d al-Sa’idi (ra) reports that a man once complained to the Prophet (pbhu) of poverty and restricted living conditions. So the Messenger of Allah said to him: • ‘When you enter the home, then perform Salam [on the inhabitants] if someone is home. And if no-one is home then perform Salam upon me and recite Surah Ikhlas once. ’
Being ungrateful Narrated Ibn 'Abbas: The Prophet phuh said: "I was shown the Hell-fire and that the majority of its dwellers were women who were ungrateful. " It was asked, "Do they disbelieve in Allah? " (or are they ungrateful to Allah? ) He replied, "They are ungrateful to their husbands and are ungrateful for the favours and the good (charitable deeds) done to them. If you have always been good (benevolent) to one of them and then she sees something in you (not of her liking), she will say, 'I have never received any good from you. “ Bukhari
Dua before intimate relationship with spouse ﺍﻟ ﺍ ﺍ ـﺍ ، ﺍﻟﻠ ﺍﻟ ﺍ In the Name of Allah. O Allah, keep the shaytaan away from us and keep the shaytaan away from what You have blessed us with. The Messenger of Allah pbuh said: whoever says this Dua and the wife was pregnant from that night, Shaytan will never be able to harm the child.
Belief in Divine Decree Belief in the divine decree is one of the articles of faith. There are four principles of the divine decree: 1. Belief that Allah knows all things and not even an minute amount of atom is hidden from Him in the heaven or on earth. 2. Belief that Allah wrote all that in al-Lawh al-Mahfooz, (the preserved tablet) fifty thousand years before He created the heavens and the earth. 3. Belief in the effective will of Allah and His all-encompassing power. Nothing happens in this universe, good or bad, except by His will. 4. Belief that everything is created by Allah. He is the Creator of all things and the Creator of their attributes and actions.
Belief in Divine Decree Verily, We have created all things with Qadar (Divine Preordainments of all things before their creation as written in the Book of Decrees Al‑Lawh Al‑Mahfooz)” [Quran al-Qamar 54: 49]
Al-Lawh al-Mahfooz The preserved Tablet • When Allah first created the Pen, He said to it: “Write. ” It said: “My Lord, what should I write? ” He said: “Write what is to be. • So It began to write what would be until the Day of Resurrection. • The Prophet (pbuh) said that when the foetus in its mother’s womb is four months old, Allah sends an angel to breathe soul into it and write down its provision, its lifespan and its deeds, and whether it is doomed or blessed. • Provision is also written down and connected to its means, and it does not increase or decrease.
Marriage is preordained • Allah says in the Quran: “He it is Who has made the earth subservient to you, so walk in the path thereof and eat of His provision. And to Him will be the Resurrection” [Surah Al. Mulk 67: 15] • Marriage is also written and preordained. • Who is to marry whom is already preordained. • Nothing is hidden from Allah on earth or in heaven.
Belief in Divine Decree • The Prophet (pbuh) said: “The pens have been lifted and the pages have dried. ” Tirmidhi • Allah blots out what He wills and confirms (what He wills). And with Him is the Mother of the Book (Al‑Lawh Al‑Mahfooz)” [Quran al-Ra’d 13: 39]
Keys aspects of good Character • • • Salah, Zikr, Dua Be content with what you have Happiness should not depend on others Honesty; Trustworthy; Patience; and Gratitude Love your children. They are a gift from Allah Love your spouse – made in heaven Say – Please, Sorry, Thank you. Love your parents Haqooq ul Allah/ Haqooq ul Ibad
Keys aspects of good Character • • • Spread Salam and Spread smile Don’t deceive; lie or cheat Aspire to reach Ihsan level and strive to have TAQWA Seek to help others Give the benefit of the doubt to others – find excuses Intention – only to please Allah Dua during relationship Don’t display photos in the home Sleep with wudhu Do Istikhara