A ROADMAP FOR DIFFICULT CONVERSATIONS Seven Steps Frank

A ROADMAP FOR DIFFICULT CONVERSATIONS “Seven Steps” Frank Carr Susan Shearouse Carr, Swanson and Randolph LLC 1

Questions to Consider l What makes a conversation difficult? l How do we react to having a difficult conversation in the workplace? – Avoid – Confront Carr, Swanson and Randolph LLC 2

Seven Steps l Set the Tone l Listen to the Person l Remain Calm l Provide Feedback l Express Empathy l Consider the “ME” in the Problem l Try Blending and Redirecting Carr, Swanson and Randolph LLC 3

Set the Tone l Power Conflict – Escalation – Underestimate – Irrational Response l Reduce Tension – Setting/Environment – Your Voice – Refreshments Carr, Swanson and Randolph LLC 4

Listen to the Person l Apply Effect Listening – Hear the Words – Interpret the Body Language l Acknowledge Cultural Differences – My Culture – Your Culture l Recognize Interests – Individual Needs – External pressure Carr, Swanson and Randolph LLC 5

Remain Calm l Recognize Emotions – Intent – Impact l Deal with Anger – Verbal – Physical l Reject Unacceptable Behavior – State Impact – Create an Agenda Carr, Swanson and Randolph LLC 6

Provide Feedback l Reasons for Feedback – Understanding – Clarity – Completeness – Awareness l Feedback Techniques – Paraphrasing – Questions – Summarize Carr, Swanson and Randolph LLC 7

Express Empathy l What is it? – Sympathy – Empathy l Am I comfortable with empathy? – Natural trait – Work at it l How do I express it? – Acknowledgment Carr, Swanson and Randolph LLC 8

Consider the “ME” in the Problem Motivational Value System l Working Styles l – Driver – Analytic – Amiable – Hub l Conflict Reaction – Attack – Withdrawal – Concede Carr, Swanson and Randolph LLC 9

Try Blending and Redirecting l Neutralize l Seek the Behavior By “Blending” a Constructive Path by “Redirecting” Carr, Swanson and Randolph LLC 10

Terms “Blending”: Reducing the differences between you and another in order to meet them where they are and move them to common ground. “Redirection”: Changing the direction of communications after blending. Carr, Swanson and Randolph LLC 11

Summary A difficult conversation is the one that you would rather avoid. I have to decide whether or not to have the difficult conversation. There are seven steps that can help me prepare for the difficult conversation. Carr, Swanson and Randolph LLC 12