A Closer Look at the Escalation Model with

A Closer Look at the Escalation Model with NVR Helen Mc. Eleny – CAMHS Social Worker Julie Hamisi – Systemic Family Psychotherapist

Types of Escalation

Types of Escalation Joint escalation Describes a situation in which the parent and child get into an argument about something. Neither will give in and each escalates the argument until it reaches a point of no return. Giving – in escalation Describes a situation in which the escalation begins in the same way but after a while the parent gives in. The child learns that if they continue to escalate the parent will eventually give in. This reinforces the pattern and invites repetition. Walking on eggshells Once you’re battle weary you don’t go there anymore. Parents avoid conflict and parental authority is lost, creating a dis-connect between parent and child.

The Escalation Model (Omer H. (2010) Non-Violent Resistance: A New Approach to Violent and selfdestructive Children

My story … “I joined the NVR feeling lost, my daughter had a diagnosis of an eating disorder, she was angry, aggressive and I didn’t know how to manage” NVR introduced me to the ideas of escalation and my role within this; I was shouting at her, getting angry and talking too much. This made things more difficult, she was hitting her siblings and threatening me. “NVR showed me how she needed her own space; how she needed respect and to be taken care of, all at the same time” “Now we are at a good level, we stay away from shouting, my younger children feel safer now… there are times when it’s difficult but it’s getting better”

My story …first I held her hands, then I stood behind her just to be there if she should wobble or fall

My story. . ‘What have I learnt … I took so many things, the tunnel, the anchor and that they want us to be there. That as parents we lead from a far and that with parental presence both inside and outside of the home. . She now gives me the postcode’

Hearing from our parents … Who you are … What brought you into the NVR parent group … How did the it help? What would you like people to take away from your experience?

Any Questions?