7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens West Madison

7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens West Madison Student Leadership Training

HOW DO EFFECTIVE TEENS MAKE CHOICES? THEY BASE THEM ON: PRINCIPLES VALUES

Principals and Paradigms • How do you think of life? • How do you see life itself and your part in it? • Also, what matters most to you, and what matters least? • That’s what this is all about.

Paradigms and Principals • Paradigms are perceptions, the way you look at things. • Principles are what matters to you, what your life is centered on.

Focusing your paradigms and principles is the chapter’s main purpose. • “It takes faith to live by principles, especially when you see people close to you get ahead in life by lying, cheating, indulging, manipulating, and serving only themselves. What you don’t see, however, is that breaking principles always catches up to them in the end. ” "In the upcoming discussions, you’ll discover that each of the 7 habits is based upon a basic principle or two. And that’s where they get their power from.

Frank Koch wrote: Two battleships assigned to the training squadron had been at sea on maneuvers in heavy weather for several days. I was serving on the lead battleship and was on watch on the bridge as night fell. Shortly after dark, the lookout on the wing of the bridge reported, "Light, bearing on the starboard bow. " "Is it steady or moving astern? " the captain called out. Lookout replied, "Steady, captain, " which meant we were on a collision course. The captain then called to the signalman, "Signal that ship: We are on a collision course, advise you change course 20 degrees. "

Back came the reply, "Advisable for you to change course 20 degrees. " The captain said, "Send, I'm a captain, change course 20 degrees. " "I am a seaman second class" came the reply. "You had better change course 20 degrees. " By that time, the captain was furious. He spat out, "Send, I'm a battleship. Change course 20 degrees. " Back came the reply, "I'm a lighthouse. " We changed course. Steven Covey (in “The 7 habits of Highly Effective People”) tells that story to teach that principles are “like lighthouses. ” They are natural laws that cannot be broken. ”

The long and short of it is, principles rule. ”

PARADIGM The way you see something, your point of view, frame of reference, or belief.

What is a paradigm shift? A paradigm shift is a way of looking at something differently. We are stepping “outside the box”. When we make a paradigm shift we can see, think, feel and behave differently. Example: • People used to think the Earth is flat. • Sailors proved the Earth is round. (a paradigm shift occurred)

What is a Habit? Habits are patterns of behavior composed of three overlapping components: – Knowledge – Desire – Skill Knowledge (what to, why to) HABIT We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, Skills but a habit. (how to) Aristotle Desire (want to)

Emotional Bank Account Like a checking or savings account, you can make deposits or withdrawals. Personal-How you feel about yourself. (Amount of trust and confidence in yourself. ) Relationship-How you feel about others. (Amount of trust and confidence you have in each of your relationships)

Personal Bank Account Deposits • • Keep promises to yourself Do small acts of kindness Be gentle with yourself Be honest in all your dealings Enhance your talents Take care of yourself Think positively and use positive self-talk

Personal Bank Account Withdrawals • • Break promises to yourself Isolate yourself Put yourself down Think negatively and use negative self-talk Be dishonest with yourself Neglect your talents Wear yourself out Expect yourself to be perfect

Relationship Bank Account Deposits • • Keep promises to others Do small acts of kindness Be loyal to those not present Listen actively Say you are sorry Set clear expectations Allow others to be different

Relationship Bank Account Withdrawals • • • Break promises Keep to yourself Gossip and break confidences Do not listen Be arrogant Set false expectations

What is an effective teen? 1. Are they reactive or proactive? 2. Do they know where they are going? 3. Do they prioritize things they have to do? 4. Do they see life as a competition? 5. Do they talk first and then pretend to listen or listen actively? 6. Do they cooperate with others or do they think they are better off doing everything by themselves? 7. Are they so busy with life that they do not have time to: • • • Spend quality time with family and friends To do their homework Read good books Exercise Take time for nature or other inspirational things?

7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens Habit 1 Be Proactive Habit 2 Begin With The End in Mind Habit 3 Put First Things First Habit 4 Think Win-win Habit 5 Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood Habit 6 Synergize Habit 7 Sharpen the Saw

Habit 1 Be Proactive Teenagers are the product of their environment, upbringing, and choices. Are their choices proactive or reactive? They need to choose how they act. They need to take responsibility for their choices and their life.

CIRCLE OF NO CONTROL Birthplace CIRCLE OF CONTROL Ourselves Attitudes Weather Choices & Responses Parents What other people say and do

• Habit #1 Be Proactive • Take responsibility for your life. • Here is a short video made by Draper Middle School Students • http: //www. mohonasen. org/DR/teacher/lgall o/lg 7 habitshome. htm

Habit 2 Begin With the End in Mind Identify the principles you want to live by. Values are self-chosen & provide foundations for decision making about where you are going in life. Define your mission and goals.

Habit 2: Begin with the End in Mind • Define your mission and goals in life. • http: //www. mohonasen. org/DR/teacher/lgall o/lg 7 habit 2. htm

Habit 3 Put First Things First Prioritize Actions flow from that which is important.

Habit 3: Put first things first. Urgent Important Not Urgent Quadrant II: Crises Deadline driven projects Pressing Problems Preparation Prevention Commitment Relationship building Quadrant IV Quadrant III Unimportant phone calls, Trivia email, meetings or reports Busy work Time wasters Interruptions • We want Quadrant II > Quadrant I. • Quadrant II comes from Quadrants III and IV. Estimate how much time you spend in Quadrant II (and what IS Quad IV? ). . . How do you plan your day? Datebook? Palm Pilot? How much is your time worth to you, in dollars/hour?

Habit 3: Put First Things First • Prioritize, and do the most important things first. • http: //www. mohonasen. org/DR/teacher/lgall o/lg 7 habit 3. htm

Habit 4 Think Win-win Mutual Benefits. Have an Win-win is like an “everyone can win” all you can eat buffet. attitude.

Habit #4 Think Win-Win Have an everyone-can-win attitude Win-Lose: The Totem Pole A Win-Lose attitude wears many faces. The following are some of them: Using other people, emotionally or physically, for your own selfish purposes. Trying to get ahead at the expense of another Spreading rumors about someone else (as if putting someone else down builds you up). Always insisting on getting your way without concerning yourself with the feelings of others. Becoming Jealous and envious when something good happens to someone close to you. In the end Win-Lose will usually backfire. You may end up on the top of the totem pole but all alone.

Win/Win

Habit 5 Seek First to Understand, Then to be Understood Communication solves problems. Listen to people sincerely.

Habit #5 Seek First to Understand, Then to be Understood You have two ears and one mouth Listen and understand If you really want to understand avoid these listening pitfalls: • Spacing out • Pretend listening • Selective listening • Word listening • Self-centered listening • Instead, listen to understand. Listen Actively!

Habit 6 Synergize Open-mindedness. Teamwork. New ways to do things. Work together to achieve more. Celebrate differences. A fruit salad is delicious precisely because each fruit maintains its own flavor.

Habit #6 Synergize Work together to Achieve More! http: //www. mohonasen. org/DR/teacher/lgallo/l g 7 habit 6. htm

Habit 7 Sharpen the Saw Continuous self-renewal and self-improvement in: y d o b your t r a e h your soul n i a r b your

GETTING UNDERWAY WITH THE 7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens