5 stages of grief By Kati Nelson LVT

5 stages of grief By: Kati Nelson, LVT

Losing a pet vs. a loved one: “They are not just a pet” The 5 Stages of grief were originally identified to define the stages of Human loss, but it has long been acknowledged that the grief stages experienced when a person suffers the death of a pet and pet loss are identical to those of human loss. So what are the stages and how do they pertain to animal medicine? https: //classroom. peoriaud. k 12. az. us/sites/sjesse/Image%20 Rotator %20 Images/Forms/Disp. Form. aspx? ID=2

Pet Loss and Veterinary Medicine Pet loss is a significant event Intensified Support • by being the sole mourner systems may be lacking Outsiders do not always acknowledge or understand the full extent of pet attachment Veterinary professionals are a source of support and understanding

Grief Mental anguish after loss of an object of attachment Process of letting go, reinvesting, emotional growth, and new attachments

the 5 stages: Denial Anger Bargaining/Guilt Depression Acceptance https: //www. ewellnessexpert. com/blog/158/is-experiencing-intense-prolonged-griefafter-a-tragedy-healthy

Denial: • A normal defense mechanism • May seem that client doen’t understand, hasn’t heard correctly, or needs to “come to his/her senses” • Restating the circumstances numerous times may be necessary

Denial continued: Thoughts during denial stage: Signs of denial: “ This can’t be happening” Lack of movement “ My pet couldn’t have died” Lack of acknowledgement “ This must be some mistake. Are you sure it’s my pet” “This feels like a nightmare, I must be dreaming” Unresponsive Trembling/shaking

Anger: This usually follows denial This is the phase of realization. Denial is over! The person is now feeling emotions. The person may feel many emotions such as sadness, loneliness and panic all at once, but anger usually surfaces first. Next step is the blame game. Clients move into and out of this emotion You never know when they can fall back into this phase. They can also jump into guilt because they are not only angry at everyone else, but themselves as well http: //imgur. com/gallery/Wj 8 Pinu

Anger continued: “Blaming something or someone for the death of their pet” Common signs of anger: Red in the face Shaking Eyebrows down Yelling/screaming at the staff No matter the situation, this person is looking for someone or something to blame for the loss of their pet.

Bargaining and guilt: This is the stage that usually takes place when a person is trying to make a decision about their pets health. They may start bargaining to help themselves feel in control of the situation. • Example of this would be “If fluffy lives, I will feed her a better diet, or exercise her more” Guilt sets in either before or after a decision has been made. This is when the owner feels like they gave up too soon, or didn’t do enough to save their pet. https: //www. reddit. com/r/aww/comments/29 x 25 p/purrmanently_sad_cat_is _back/

Depression: Complete, and overwhelming sadness Irritability, sleep irregularity, restlessness, inability to concentrate If depression is severe, may refer to a counselor Signs of depression: • Feeling quiet • Feeling sad • Feeling lethargic • Feeling isolated from others • Excessive crying When a person is in this stage, it is hard for them to imagine moving on with their life. This stage can take a while to get out of. Losing a pet is a lot more than we realize for some people.

Acceptance: This is the last stage of grief. This when the person starts to feel the signs of grief fading. This does not mean that they are over the loss of their pet. This just means that they have accepted their new normal. They understand that their pet passed away and are ok with the way their life is now. http: //www. fountainsoflife. org/walking-in-acknowledgement-andacceptance/ https: //www. freedoglistings. com/Business-Details? id=127391 https: //www. teachersupplysource. com/product/91730/poster-acceptance-is-seeingwith/

Acceptance continued: Normal functioning is restored Emotional energy is reinvested New attachments without regret or hesitation The decision to bond with a new animal should be left to the client who is experiencing the loss. Bonding with a new pet should be viewed as a tribute to the love and companionship shared with the previous animal.

So why does this pertain to us? As veterinary professionals, it is our job to be sympathetic and empathetic towards patients and their owners. We need to be able to put ourselves in that client's position. When someone is going through the process of losing a pet, they need a technician who is understanding and compassionate. https: //www. pennfoster. edu/programs-anddegrees/veterinary-studies/veterinary-technician-associatedegree https: //en. wikipedia. org/wiki/File: Vet_Tech_Program. jpg In order for this to be possible, we have to realize that every client and animal has a story…

Every patient presents with not only a medical history, but a life story… Watching them start life with someone Birthdays! Both the pet and the owner The beginning of puppyhood Seeing their owner graduate Welcoming another person into the family

Case Study: Same Paw 13 -year-old, female spayed, Rat Terrier Presents due to cluster seizures (Total of 6 seizures) Patient presents comatose Patient has a history of seizures that started about 2 years prior. Patient only had a seizure every 6 -8 months lasting less than 30 seconds each time. Seizures consisted of Same Paw following over and paddling. It would take her about 30 minutes to recover completely. Patient was never taken into the veterinarian for this problem before. So what are your thoughts about this owner? ? ?

Next Step: Due to Same Paw’s presenting clinical signs and her age, her owners opted to euthanize. This was an emotional time because Same Paw belonged to their daughter who was a state away and in college. The family had recently been through a hard time, so losing their pet was going to be much worse. We all know that losing a pet is hard enough, but for this family, it was the last thing they could handle… https: //www. pinterest. com/pin/169166529732180710/

What we see when someone chooses to Euthanize… We see an upset person with an old dog Maybe they didn’t take her to the vet as much as they should have Maybe some of us believe they should have done more than just jump into euthanizing Maybe some of us look at this dog and think, this should have happened a long time ago Maybe some of us are feeling empathy, maybe we really are considering what is happening not only to the dog, but to the person as well No matter the case, we have our story. We have our primary complaint…and for some veterinary professionals that’s all that matters. https: //www. pinterest. com/pin/130604457919406216/ But it shouldn’t…

So what did this family see when they knew they had to euthanize…. They saw Same Paw when they adopted her from the shelter. They saw their daughters' eye light up when she bonded with her first dog. They saw their daughter riding her bike through the neighborhood with her 4 legged best friend. They saw their daughter graduate Highschool and have pictures of her and Same Paw celebrating. They saw their daughter go off to college and knew that it killed her to leave her furry best friend behind. Last, they saw the hard time they had just went through. And they knew that telling their daughter that her childhood dog had passed would devastate her.

This is why we should never judge a situation!!!! There is so much more than just the primary complaint. These clients have such a connection that we will never really begin to understand. That’s why, as veterinary professionals, it is not only our job, but our calling to give these clients and pets the same respect you would like to see. I know its hard to not pass judgement sometimes, but we don’t know their story! http: //www. picturequotes. com/animals-empathy-quote-1 picture-quote-610410 Empathy is your best friend!!!

So here’s the twist… The daughter from the case study is me! My parents did say “they felt like the staff was very understanding and supported them” But I know this doesn’t always happen. This is why I feel that knowing the 5 stages of grief matters.

So here's the point. . We are it!!! We are the last people they talk to. We are the experience they remember. Let's give them the same sympathy you would want. Let's be the difference, lets be part of the moment that makes them feel ok with their decision. We are their support system! We are here to help animals, and that includes helping the people that love them! So in conclusion…This is why it is important for us to understand know the 5 stages of grief. https: //www. pinterest. com/explore/dog-quotes/

In loving Memory of my Girl Blue. Belle!! The “Cavi” that stole my heart